Q: My boss failed to include me on a meeting announcement. All of my other coworkers were invited, so now I’m wondering if there was an oversight and I’m truly supposed to show up or if the boss is trying to send me a message. What should I do now?
A: If you think this was a goof, the best option is to say to your boss, “Sue, most of the department is invited to Monday’s meeting; do you need me there too?” Asking directly allows your boss to correct her error, if she’s made one, or let you down easily if she doesn’t want you there. It also makes you seem proactive. If your relationship with the boss is strained, then saying nothing could be a good strategy. But avoid asking coworkers to check on your behalf; it puts them in an awkward position.
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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Question:
When I was a teenager, the tip percentage was a solid 10%. When I was 30, or so, it became 15%. What person or organization unilaterally decided that servers deserved a raise? I would REALLY like to find out! Good service didn’t become “better.” The consumer received no more value for a 15% tip than they had for a 10% tip.
And don’t lay the raise on inflation. As the price of the meal has increased, so have the server’s tips. I just went to a restaurant’s anniversary celebration, where a chicken dinner was priced at the 1959 price: $1.60. That same dinner is $10.95 today. That means that a server’s tip, at 10%, has gone from $.16 to $1.10, a 587% increase!
I don’t know about you, but most worker’s wages have not kept pace with inflation. Since I, as a consumer, don’t receive any better service for my money at a 15% tip than I did for a 10% tip, my response is to Just Say NO!
Howard must be a pleasure to serve, especially since most people are tipping 20% nowadays. I try to make up for people like him in the tips I leave. Stay home and don’t bother going to restaurants.
Howard? Has your cost of living gone up since you were a teenager? Or 30? So has everyone else’s. Do you really need an explanation why the standard was raised? Why is it rude to let a door slam in someone’s face? It just is. So, if you have an understanding of restaurant dynamics, know that most servers have to pay the house a certain percentage of every table. It goes all the way up to 8%. Are you comfortable leaving a 2% tip?
A server will take a 10% tip as a reflection that they did a bad job. They don’t know your political beliefs. You also have the choice to not eat at restaurants where tipping is required. Let the server have a patron that understands that customs have changed and let them make money.
http://teleburst.wordpress.com/2010/01/09/how-did-the-tipping-standard-for-restaurants-get-set/
Howard, I think that you’re misremembering, or you weren’t taught the correct standard when you were growing up. I was a teenager in the mid-to-late 60s (I graduated from high school in 1972) and the “tip standard” was 15% even then. My first waiting tables job was in 1973 and I can assure you that the “standard tip” was 15%. I’ve even gone back to old original editions of Emily Post (1959 I think), Amy Vanderbilt (late 50s), and Vogue’s Guide to Etiquette (1949!). All of them talk about 15% as the standard, although I think that the original edition of Emily Post and perhaps the Vogue book mention 10% (Vogue employed a sliding scale). So, unless you were a teenager in the early 50s (when gas was a quarter a gallon, mind you), you are simply misremembering.
No “person or organization” decided that server’s needed a raise – the market determined it (unlike my example of a gallon of gas). You mention 1959. The average salary/wages of servers now is around $25,000 (the official average is only around 21K but the average server will make around $25k from my experience). In 1959, that would equate to $3,357.18. that sounds about right to me. It’s actually LESS than the 550% inflation rate that you mention.
So, quit trying to save money on the back of your server, a server who might only make $2.13/hr depending on the state that you live in, and do the right thing and tip 15% for average service and more for excellent service. Feel free to dock the server if the service is less than stellar. A 10% tip is considered such a tip. It’s an insult tip. If it’s based on bad service, then it’s an insult to the ability of the server and is deserved. If it’s done out of ignorance or spite (as your is), then it’s just an insult to your server and is unwarranted.
PS, I live in such a $2.13/hr state. I get a ZERO paycheck because all of my wages are eaten up by withholding taxes. As a matter of fact, I end up owing the IRS $1k – 3K in April. The ONLY money I get for spending, paying bills, etc. comes from tips. Every red cent.
Thank you for your future cooperation.
“So You Want To Be A Waiter” blog
http://teleburst.wordpress.com
PS, thanks for the linage AB. I didn’t even notice it in your reply until I finished writing my comment. Turns out I covered some of the same ground from memory regarding Vogue, Emily Post and Amy Vanderbilt. But I think I’ll keep this reply anyway .
I agree that tipping is a weird concept. The rules and standards are somewhat arbitrary and confusing. But, that is our system. We have to remember that there are lobbyists that fight to keep the minimum wage low. They fight to maintain server wages in certain states under the premise that a restaurant can’t afford to pay their servers a living wage.
If you eat at decent to nice restaurants, you should notice that the wait staff is well spoken, nicely groomed, and familiar with their menu. I know from experience that most servers are college educated and/or very bright people. They wouldn’t be in the line of work if the money wasn’t there. So, if you don’t care about service and you don’t care if the person is sloppy and ignorant about food, then it wont matter to you. As someone who dines out nearly every day, I know that good service must be rewarded (just as bad service shouldn’t be.) Bad service can ruin an entire evening and I’d rather chip in an extra 10% to that great server in hopes that they keep up the good work.
“I agree that tipping is a weird concept”.
See, to me, it’s not weird at all (of course, I’m a bit biased).
To me, it’s weird to pay a fixed price for something regardless of the type of service that you receive. I pay the same $4.99 for a widget even if the store personnel are rude and ignorant about the product (or even if I don’t need their help). I’m going to have to pay my doctor the same whether I get seen at my reservation time or have to wait 45 minutes after my scheduled time. I pay the same $400 to get my timing belt changed regardless of whether it’s returned to me at the promised time or not or whether they leave greasy fingerprints on my steering wheel or detail the interior of my car afterwards.
Tipping is very similar to paying a commission to a salesperson. The difference is, it’s not bundled into the price of the product. It’s paid separately, plus, it’s adjustable by the consumer based on the level of service you’ve received. That .99 bag of potato chips you like so much includes a commission for the person who services that store (and it’s usually adjustable based on volume). You’re going to pay that commission even if half of the time, your store is out of that product or the product is often past its expiration date.
While being able to pay people based on how well they serve you would be great (I’ll bet retail people would be a lot friendlier and/or helpful), it would just be too unwieldy. However, in the case of restaurant dining at least, you’re spending 45 minutes to 3 hours with a single service provider – it’s not too much of a burden to tip under those conditions.
My very sweet husband, The Furry Guy, used to grumble a bit about the tip I would leave when we ate out. (I wield the checkbook, debit card, and most of the cash.) His assumption was that servers at nicer restaurants made better money, so 15% was plenty. The 20% I usually left was overkill.
Then something happened. Our son became a server in a very nice, high-end seafood restaurant. When The Furry Guy found out that our son made only $2.15/hr and had to share his tips with the lead waitstaff he was shocked.
Now he doesn’t even lift an eyebrow when I bump that tip up a bit past 20% for great service.
I don’t know what the history of tipping is, but from my experience, for the last decade or so 15% was considered minimum and anything above 20% was a sign of a very satisfied customer. I stick to these rates unless I received either exceptionally good or exceptionally bad service, whereby the amount I leave behind will reflect this.
If I really despised the service, I probably won’t return to the restaurant anyways. However, if I am a regular patron, I feel it is good practice to tip reasonably—and generously, if possible. After all, people are handling the food you eat and I want the servers, chefs and other staff to know I appreciate them.
I look at it that the server was employed to complete a service. Since when do we pay for customer service? Do you send in money to AT&T cell phone if the person on the other phone is nice to you? Do you pay your yard mower if he does it better than he did last time? or is nice to you while he does it? No,..you don’t.
The server is already being paid for the job. Why should I give a tip? Because the resturants employee brought the food to the table? Isn’t that their job to begin with?
If the server refuses to do their job properly call the manager. To you servers out there, if my thoughts bother you, I’ll go get a pitcher of tea my self.
What is really silly is people laying money on the table for a tip at a one of those self serve buffets…ha. Why do that?
Here is my tip…
We need to stop this social political correctness.
I have been a server for 5 years. The most money I have ever made hourly was $2.13. That is why you should tip 20%. 40 years ago, servers probably made more per hour. The restaurant industry has changed and so should you!