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Another Ugly Sweater: When good people give "bad" gifts

by EPI Staff on August 20, 2010

Q: Once again my mother-in-law has given me a sweater I’ll never put on, and then asked me why I’m not wearing it. Is there a way to get her to give me gifts I’d actually use?

A: No matter how much you dislike your mother-in-law’s gifts, you should acknowledge her thoughtfulness in some way. You don’t need to lie and say, “How gorgeous!” Simply say, “You’re so kind to think of me,” and let it go at that. If she puts you on the spot about why you’re not wearing the sweater, treat the question lightly: “Oh, I just wanted to see if you’d notice!”

You might also head off a repeat performance by taking some corrective action. Before the next occasion, ask her what she wants. Then tell her you have a wish list, too, and throw out a few ideas. Not only may that inspire your mother-in-law, but it could also make everyone’s shopping easier.

And if she still gives you a sweater you don’t like? Thank her warmly and say something positive, such as “What a great color!” It’s never gracious to be critical or unappreciative.

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