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Mass-Transit Manners: Teaching your child seating etiquette

by EPI Staff on July 15, 2010

Q: Should I teach my 8-year-oild son to give up his seat to an adult when the bus is crowded, or is this an old-fashioned custom?

A: Kindness never goes out of style, although, regrettably, offering your seat to a fellow passenger is a custom that’s falling somewhat by the wayside. Certainly coach your son to give up his seat, particularly to those who are disabled, elderly, pregnant, unsteady on their feet, or merely overloaded with packages.

And teach him to apply common sense to the axioms of courtesy. For example, if he’s carrying a heavy backpack, he doesn’t have to jump up for a young adult. However, when in doubt, he won’t go wrong by trying to make another traveler more comfortable.

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Ruth Peltier July 15, 2010 at 8:36 pm

Years ago, I was working with primary school aged Girl Scouts on a badge that required learning how to ride on a bus. We had rehearsed giving up seats to other passengers. As luck would have it, an elderly black lady got on the bus and most of the girls jumped up to give her their seat. Problem was this was TN and the black lady was old enough that the gesture made her uncomfortable and she tried to refuse. I finally whispered to her that they had been practicing all week and to PLEASE accept. It was a learning experience for all of us.

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Alicia July 16, 2010 at 4:08 am

Yes it is an old fashioned custom but it is a lovely and charming one that more people should practice. It is an easy custom to follow for those of us lucky enough to be healthy and whole. My parents taught this on a sitiuational basis where they would tell us to stand by them and offer our seat or theirs to those who would have trouble standing for whatever reason. I almost never take a bus but often take the metro and last week when I stood and offered my seat on the metro to a young man who had an artificial leg I found out that I had been the first person to do so since his leg had been removed at walter reed. He was so greatful as he said he was still having trouble with balance as the metro jerked forward and back at stops. Yes sometimes elderly gentlemen will refuse due to my being a woman. Other times people will say they are not old enough to require the kindness ect. However, the world is always a bit nicer and brighter when we offer kindness and it leaves both the person offered and teh one offering feeling better and nicer about the day.

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Chelsea September 9, 2010 at 4:54 pm

Hi all,
In Spain (where I live now) you pretty much must give your seat up if you are a teenager to anyone elderly. Before I knew this, a older gentleman was looking at me, like I was doing something wrong. I figured out quickly that if you are young, healthy, and able to stand for a while, that you should allow others to sit in your spot. Sometimes I see teenager not sitting down, even when a seat is open, as to allow anyone getting on the bus to take it.

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