Q: I’m throwing a retirement party for a friend, and I’m not sure about the rules. Should family as well as work friends be invited? And are “retirement gifts” appropriate?
A: The guest list is entirely your call. It could be strictly family and friends, or you could invite some close colleagues. Companies often organize their own retirement parties, so find out if that’s the case. Either way, you’re the host: You needn’t invite coworkers unless you want to. Don’t hesitate to elicit your guest-of-honor’s input (unless it’s a surprise party, in which case a mutual friend might help). As for gifts, they are optional. Anything related to the retiree’s favorite hobbies is a safe bet, as are books or theater tickets – presents that acknowledge the perceived slower pace of a retiree’s life. Then again, ask your friend – he might prefer not to receive presents, in which case a “no gifts, please” on the invitation will avoid any awkwardness.
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Is it ever appropriate to ask guests to pay for their own dinner at a retirement party? My husband is retiring soon and we both come from very large families. I would like to have a party for him but the cost could be prohibitive. Would it make any difference if we were definite about no gifts? Thank you for any help with this request.
No, it isn’t ever proper to ask guests of a retirement party to pay for their meal or refresments. Nor should gifts be mentioned at all except to say, “Thanks so much for asking what to get Steve, but all he wants is your presence at his party.” If budget is an issue, scale the party so you can afford to pay for your guests.
Whenever you are truly hosting an event one of the wonderful yet expensive aspects of that is hosting the event. You get to decide the cost and extent of the party but you also get to pay for the cost and extent of the party. So you do need to host and pay. However, if it is too expensive you can cut back the guest list, host at a time of day when a meal is not expected( a coffee and cake ect a tea), offer a signature drink to cut cost (cheaoper then a full bar and folks never think of it as cheap) host it a a cheaper venue ( your home ect)
Also gifts should never be mentioned in an invite or by the host or hostess. If teh guests asks it is appropriate to say no gifts but gifts are not always expected at a retirement party.