Q: When my in-laws last visited, they kept going to the thermostat and turning up the heat without asking me. I’m trying to keep my electric bill down. Weren’t they rude?
A: Not really. Sure, it would have been better if they had checked with you first. But maybe they just didn’t want to bother you. And even if they had asked for a temperature change, I can’t imagine you would have said, “Nope – you have to suffer.” For future visits, you could try offering extra sweaters soon after they arrive to help keep them warm – and head off a trip to the thermostat. But the bottom line is that your guests’ comfort takes precedence over your bill.
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I think this is great advice. Although we feel unprepared for what are “added expenses” when guests visit, as discussed in a previous question about basic amenities for guests, I think this will fall into that category of accommodating their needs over your checkbook. A good host/hostess should consider additional utilities usage, water/heating bills and minimum grocery bills when budgeting for guests’ visits. If they cannot accommodate these basic needs, they should invite guests when it is more economically feasible, to avoid resentment all-around.
As someone who is habitually cold (I think due to genetics), I could also suggest a space heater as a solution for guests who may have a different body temperature than what you or your budget are used to. I can think of no worse feeling than to be uncomfortably cold while visiting family or friends. Coldness is something that leaks into your whole body if not your soul and leaves a memorable impression on the overall experience. Not being able to feel comfortable simply makes me want to stay home. I think the sweater suggestion is also a good one. A good host or hostess would take notice of body language of guests if not outright comments indicative of their discomfort. Put yourself in the position of being somewhere and feeling uncomfortably hot or cold. What would your expectations be of your hosts?
I think it IS rude for someone to turn up the heat if they are in someone else’s home. Or do ANYTHING along those lines — i.e., turning on or turning off lights, looking in the refrigerator, looking in cabinets, etc. — without ASKING. If one is a visitor, just ask for whatever it is that you want, if it’s to turn up the heat, turn down the heat, turn off a light, whatever. I know that I would never think of turning up the heat in someone else’s home!