15 Comments

  1. Jessica

    Are baby showers traditionally held on Saturday or Sunday? I want to know what is the traditional day, not what is allowed or okay in today’s world, but what is the tradition?

    • Graceandhonor

      Jessica,

      In the South, the traditional time for us has been on Saturdays late morning, if a lunch is planned, or early afternoon. This is still the most popular time, though I see an occasional one on Sunday afternoon or the rare weeknight. This goes back to the days when Sundays were reserved for church, family dinners and afternoon visits or rest. I still think Saturdays are best in our modern times.

      G&H

  2. Kimberly

    I would like to know if this is a new trend in weddings. I recently received an “invitation” to a wedding but instead of receiving an invitation to attend the wedding ceremony or the reception, it had a website listed for helping to fund the couple’s honeymoon.
    I have found out from others that they have received a similar “invitation” and also from others that said they were invited to the ceremony and/or reception.

    My immediate reaction to such an invitation is that if I am not good enough or know the couple well enough to be invited to either the ceremony or reception, then I don’t need to fund their honeymoon. The website on the invitation was for helping them to fund their honeymoon only. This practice seems very presumptuous or just down right rude.

    I would like to hear opinions from others on what they think of this practice.

    • Graceandhonor

      Downright rude doesn’t begin to cover it, Kimberly. I would respond with a note:

      Dear Sally,

      I must decline your invitation to fund your honeymoon.

      Sincerely,

      Kimberly Smith

      As tempting as it would be to embellish this, I would refrain; perhaps it will cause her to reflect on her behavior. This is a time to thank your God for the blessing of discernment you obviously possess.

  3. Kathryn

    I have an open-bar dilemma. My venue does not allow full open bar (meaning beer, wine, mixed drinks) all evening. They only allow 2 hours, then it turns to cash bar.

    The alternative is offering a beer and wine open bar all night, but there is no option to purchase any hard alcohol.

    I’m torn on what to do. It is not a money issue as they work out to be similar costs. It is more trying to please my guests. I know some of my guests would enjoy a vodka tonic or the like, and won’t have that option if we do the beer and wine open bar.

    Any help is appreciated!!

    • Graceandhonor

      Work out an agreement with the venue that they should keep track of what is poured all night and pay accordingly. I have never heard of a venue doing as you describe. If they refuse, issue paid tickets for your guests to redeem for drinks. If the venue won’t play ball, switch to beer and wine, with the option of the guest paying for liquor. I imagine most of your guests would then opt for the freebies, and as these are cheaper than liquor, the venue is only shooting themselves in the foot. But, it is in poor taste to have guests pay for their drinks. Is it too late to switch to a venue with better business practices?

      • Kathryn

        The venue is a college and its their liquor license that prohibits them from offering an open bar all evening. In Massachusetts this is common for a college.

        I am not changing the venue as it is beautiful and has everything else I want.

        As i stated before, they will not allow a beer and wine option with a cash liquor bar. Its all beer and wine and nothing else, or cash bar for liquor after 2 hours.

        • Graceandhonor

          Of course we didn’t have this information when we responded to your original inquiry. I am sure your reception will be lovely, whatever you decide. Best wishes for a happy marriage!

        • Rusty Shackleford

          I see nothing wrong or uncouth about simply offering beer and wine. Especially since this is the only way your guests can go the entire night without expense to themselves. And not to offend or presume anything about your guests, but the lack of hard liquor greatly reduces the risk of any unfortunate incidents. There is no rule anywhere that I know of that states you must provide hard liquor and cocktails to your guests at your wedding. For that matter, the occaisions where I been to beer and wine only events, the lines move much faster than when people desire personalized mixed drinks. Very best wishes.

  4. Karen

    Should Kimberly find out for sure that people are only being sent the honeymoon fund info? Perhaps an invitation is forthcoming or lost? I only say this because if there is some sort of misunderstanding it could cause hurt feelings when the bride and groom receive the note. If it is confirmed that only the funding of the honeymoon is being requested, then perhaps the note could be sent.

    • Graceandhonor

      Hi, Karen,

      My understanding is that Kimberly did indeed confirm others have received only the invitation to fund the honeymoon, and that others were given “full” invitations. It is difficult to believe an error occured as surely the bride knew what went into each envelope. Regardless, the offense was committed by the bride, not Kimberly, and the bride should know Kimberly is hurt. Even if an invitation to the wedding and reception have been lost, Kimberly (nor anyone) should not have received a solicitation of the type she did.

      Honestly, if someone can’t fund their own honeymoon, then they ought to go camping.

      Enjoy your posts, Karen,

      G&H

  5. V.T. Reynolds

    These are both just awful situations! The person with the very rude “friend” (by the way, that kind of “invitation” is not worthy of any sort of response, in my opinion, except maybe a congratulatory card sent to the couple – let someone closer to them remind them of their rudeness), and also the person with the no-win bar setup.

    This brings up a question: is it considered “chic” or at least appropriate to offer a signature cocktail at a wedding reception, along with beer and wine, instead of having a full mixed drink bar? My “Real Simple” wedding guide states that it is fine to do that, but I am guessing that Uncle so and so who loves scotch or Susie who loves cosmos may be disappointed.

    • Graceandhonor

      Uncle so and so can wait until he gets home for his scotch and Susie should learn to try new things. If you offer special refreshment to your guests, it is up to them to be polite and happy guests who fall into cooperative festivity!

  6. Katie

    I have a wedding invitation question. The invitation that I have picked out and like very much has a space for an initial at the top. I automatically thought that the initial would be what my last name is now, before getting married/maiden name. I have been questioned from friends and family members as to if that is right. My parents are the host and are paying for the wedding, therefore wouldnt it indeed be correct and proper to have my maiden name, last name initial on the invitation? Thank you for your help! :)

    • carrie.

      Hi Katie,

      Yes, anything before the reception would have either two separate monograms (if you were Katie Ann Jones and he was Robert Douglas Smith for example) KAJ and RDS for block style or KJA and RAD for diamond.

      If you just wanted your last initial (Jones) then yes, the J for the invite. You would begin to use the S if you had monogrammed napkins, matchbooks, etc., at the reception.

      Hope that helps, and best of luck in your planning!

      best,

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