Q: My husband and I heard through the family grapevine that we’re invited to the out of state wedding of his cousin’s son, but we’ve yet to receive an invitation and the event is only a month away. We don’t want to call and ask if we’re on the list, because it will be so embarrassing if the answer is no. What should we do?
A: The invitation could still arrive-four to six weeks before the date is the norm for weddings-but don’t be too hard on your husband’s relatives if it never comes. Finalizing the guest list can be a harrowing business for a bride- and groom-to-be faced with daunting wedding expenses, not to mention two families to please. That’s why early word of mouth just isn’t reliable.
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My boyfriend’s friend is getting married in August, and he has not received a save the date. To the best of our knowledge, he is the only one of their large group of friends (and even fraternity brothers-most were in the same pledge class) to not receive one. The bride has talked about the wedding when around us and with another friend, and referenced my boyfriend as though he is invited. He is really hurt by the idea of not being invited. Is it inappropriate for me, making sure to be clear that I am not angling for an invitation for either of us, to check with the bride as to what is going on so that I can help him to adjust his expectations? Is he simply excluded even if it was a postal service error? Please help!
It might be a better idea if a mutual friend of the groom and your boyfriend makes the inquiry on behalf of your boyfriend. Surely there is someone in the group that would do this for him. It sounds to me like it is a postal delivery delay, and should be fairly simple to ascertain, before more time elapses and your boyfriend is further hurt. And, you don’t want to appear to be a helicopter girlfriend, right?
I was invited to a Bat Mitzvah service and kiddish lunch. I am not jewish. In my invitation there was no invite for the evening party- which many people have been invited to. I’m not the only one who wasn’t included in that evening party invitation. So is it that the throwers of the party committed a faus pas in not inviting us to the reception ( as one would consider say being invited to the wedding and not the reception rude) or is there a reason for this? the party is the most common occasion for bar and bat mitzvahs to invite their non jewish friends and family. I’m quite confused. Also, it’s in poor taste to bring a gift to the service so…not being invited to the party do I not send a gift?
Confused and excluded