Q: Recently an old college buddy was unexpectedly in town for an evening. Since she doesn’t come often, I wanted to see her, so I asked the women I had plans with if we could reschedule, and she got annoyed. Was I wrong?
A: You really were. In general, calling off a date, even if you make another one, is discourteous unless you have a dire emergency, such as a sudden illness or a last-minute business trip. Otherwise, the person you’ve canceled on could easily feel like second best, especially if you give the impression that this new opportunity appeals to you more than spending time with her. Next time, you could ask your friend if she’d be comfortable having this colleague join you for the evening. But make it clear that the plans you have with her take precedence, and that it is fine if she doesn’t want a threesome-you’ll just see your old buddy the next time she’s in town.