Welcome to Etiquette Daily
This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.
Open thread
Emily's Tweets
- The Well Mannered Wedding http://t.co/1FezWiDF via @NYTimes #weddingetiquette
- How Not To Annoy People Via E-Mail http://t.co/AygjBgDK via @CNN
- The Gift of Good Manners
- French Fries – How Do I Eat Them?There are many foods that present a classic dilemma for diners young and old. The question is, “fork or fingers?” The answer is sometimes definitive – you definitely eat your peas and mashed potatoes with a fork. That’s a no-brainer. But how about french fries? It’s a sometimes fingers/sometimes forks answer: If the food the […]
- New Possibilities in a New YearHello All, A new year is an exciting time. It offers all sorts of possibilities and a fresh start. 2012 is particularly exciting in the new possibilities it offers me. After 12 years co-directing the Emily Post Institute with my brother Peter and my sister-in-law Peggy (married to a different brother), I am retiring from management […]
- Happy HolidaysHolidays bring festivities, breaks from routine, and opportunities to spend time with family and friends. We share meals, exchange gifts, and connect with people we see infrequently. I know kids and staff will enjoy a break from the routine school schedule, employees at businesses that take a break during this season will enjoy their time […]
- French Fries – How Do I Eat Them?
Emily Post 2012 Calendar
Subscribe
-
-
Polls
Loading ...-
PhotoBook
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Ok…I need help. My in-laws said that they’d pay for the rehearsal dinner at a local mexican restaraunt where my fiance’ and I had our first date. Here is my question, I am doing all the work for this event. All of the planning, the designing and printing of the invitations,the postage, decorations, EVERYTHING. My mother-in-law basically said, just tell me who I need to write the check to.
So, how do I word the invitations for the rehearsal dinner, especially since I’m the RSVP person? Yeah, his parents are paying for it, but I’m doing everything else! Are they technically hosting?
Am I being silly or do I just need to make it look like they are the perfect hosts and just leave it be?
Brides plan their weddings yet often the parents foot the bill. Do you leave Dad’s name off as host simply because he didn’t help you choose your gown and design the invitations? It sounds to me like your future mother-in-law is willing to pay the bill, and while it may have been more pleasant had she actively helped plan the evening, give her the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps she wanted you to plan it just the way you wanted it. I would enlist your fiance’s advice on how to approach his mother with the bill. This dilemma should be on his shoulders as well.
This is great advice, Julie.
Is there such a thing as an too generous wedding gift? A young couple whom my family adores but does not know well is getting married, and we are surprised and delighted to be invited. We don’t imagine we’ll get another chance to give them a helping hand, and would like to give a sizeable cheque with our sincerest best wishes. Is there any way that could go awry?
We don’t know the family very well, nor anyone else who is invited, so there isn’t much other oppportunity to ask for advice on this. Thank you for this site; it is sincerely appreciated.
All best,
Nina
You seem to know them enough to “adore” them, so maybe pull back a bit from whatever amount you are thinking of now. It sounds like you genuinely want to give them a nice gift. I’m sure it will be very much appreciated.
My wife and I are both Protestant ministers. What is the proper way to address a correspondence to us?
Thanks!
Chris
As Peggy Post writes in “Emily Post’s Etiquette,”:
For the Salutation of a business letter: Dear Dr. Heifner, or Mr., Mrs. Ms., Pastor, Rector (if no doctorate held)
For address (business): The Reverend Chris Heifner (, D.D., L.L.D. if held)
(church address)
and your wife in the same way: The Reverend Christina Heifner etc. etc.
(church address)
For Social Correspondence:
The Reverend Dr. Chris Heifner (if Doctorate held, otherwise, The Reverend)
The Reverend Dr. Christina Heifner (etc.)
While “The Reverends Chris and Christina Heifner” would probably work, too, it is more clear to have a line dedicated to each of you.
Best wishes to you in all you do.