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I just found out that my best friend “Janet” is engaged to her boyfriend “Mark”, whom I introduced to her. They were engaged once before and then broke up and got back together numerous times. She has yet to tell me about the engagement as I found out from my friend “Jessica” who knows Mark’s Mom (the information is very reliable). I’m thinking of just acting surprised when Janet tells me about the engagement, as Jessica does not want me to reveal that I know, even though I feel a bit annoyed as I have devoted countless hours on the phone to both Janet and Mark when they are upset. I think she is embarrassed to tell me they are engaged again as she always tells me how miserable she is. Is a “congratulations, I hope it works out for the best” the way to go as well as acceptance of maid of honor responsibilities (again) if it is requested of me?
“I hope you will be very happy together” isn’t begrudging and accurately conveys your hopes for them, yes? It is regrettable they didn’t think to tell you immediately, but it sounds as though this couple may need the support of everyone they know. Hopefully, before too many years have passed, you and your best friend will look back on her courtship and marvel with humor over it together.
We recently had a death in the family. We are wondering what the protocol is for receiving sympathy cards, do we send them thank-you’s?
Written notes of condolence should be acknowledged in the same way. Though pre-printed cards do not require a thank-you, I believe it is the gracious response to someone who took the time to send one. I would encourage you to avoid pre-printed thank you cards funeral homes often provide…”The Family of______ thanks you for your expression of condolence.” If someone spent time and money to send a floral arrangement or correspondence, they are deserving of more than this generic form.
I have a friend who is dating someone and she really likes him. They have a lot in common and he’s very sweet to her. The issue is that she is hyper sensitive to smells/odors and he seems to have a strong odor when he sweats. This has occurred several times and she has dropped subtle hints, but it doesn’t seem to be working. She would like to continue to see him, but she would also like to let him know about her concerns. How can she do this tactfully?
“Sampson, I can’t wait to run my fingers through your hair after you hit the shower, honey!” Seriously, this is a time when feminine wiles should be employed so that he sees the payoff of prompt grooming. Said with light-hearted enthusiasm, this ought to work and become the routine between them. He’ll catch on eventually.
Hi Emily,
I am a bridesmaid in my friend’s wedding (not the maid of honor). I don’t have a lot of money and am the only bridesmaid who is employed. SO here is the deal. The bride lives out of town and it has fallen on me (and the other bridesmaid, also no the maid of honor) to throw the shower. We are having it on a Saturday afternoon and I am paying for the majority of the cost, I would also really like to throw her a small bachelorette party that evening as the entire guest list is comprised of the younger girls who will be at the shower. I decided that bachelorette bowling would be super fun (especially since some of the guests are not old enough to get into a bar or club). My problem is this (I read your post about how the host has to pay) I again don’t have a lot of money and I will be able to provide the cake, favors, some food, etc. but the bowling party is $15 a person. I know this only adds up to $165-$210 if all the girls attend but I simply can’t afford to pay for everyone to go bowling + favors + food as well as the shower that I am throwing that afternoon. Is there anyway that I can politely say that you need to pay the $15. I obviously don’t want to print it on the invites but when they call to RSVP can I ask for the $15 then. I am at a total loss. I mean I want my girl to have all of the experiences with getting married and all the celebration that surrounds it but I am just strapped for cash right now. I mean all the bachelorette parties I have been invited to in the past there has been a $50-$500 pricetag to go as well as paying for your own drinks, etc. What do I do??? I don’t want to be rude but I really want to do this.
Katie
Hi Katie,
It is totally expected to pay your own way for bachelorette parties, and at $15. per person, everyone will love you for planning a VERY reasonably priced party. Also, it was incredibly thoughtful of you to think of the younger members of the party who cannot attend adult-only events. No need to put the cost on the invites, just let people know when they call to RSVP. And if people show up at the door having failed to RSVP, let them know when they arrive.
Have a wonderful time and let everyone here know how it works out!
best,
Thanks so much Carrie!!!