Welcome to Etiquette Daily
This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.
Open thread
Previous post: Awkward Admittance: When you forget someone's name
Next post: Bad Mannered Big Mouth: When cell talkers won't be quiet
Loading ...
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
We were invited to a family wedding a few states away. Being close with the bride and knowing that I needed to make travel and child arrangments well ahead of time due to my own budget, I called and asked if kids were invited-being sure to let her know that it didn’t matter to me either way, and that I just wanted to know because we had a few options to consider (I was not assuming I was invited, we had discussed it many times and I even helped her with honeymoon reservations and looking info up online).
I was assured the kids were invited by the bride. We later hosted the bride at our home when they were in town looking for dresses-and she talked to my son about his attending. All of the families were together at Christmas, where this was reiterated by the bride and groom, who even told the 2 children directly that they would see them next at the wedding and isn’t it exciting, etc.
Received the invitation which was addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Family. Two days later, got a call from the bride, saying that she had made a mistake, and now my son wasn’t invited. What should I do? I want to be clear that I would not care at all if it was adults only, but I’m confused/upset because he was invited (multiple times verbally and by the written invitation) and now is not.
What an awkward situation. I am sorry that it has left you and your son feeling confused and hurt. Wedding guest lists can be difficult to finalize and tough choices are often made based simply on cost calculations that are unavoidable. Unfortunately, there is not a lot you can do about it. Explain to your son that while you are sure his family would love for him to be there that they simply can’t invite all of the children that they would like so they have decided to make it an event for adults. There may be an opportunity to communicate what an honor it is to be invited to a wedding and begin to explain some of the traditions (both those that have been well managed and botched) that make this event such a special one. Your son may be beginning to develop a taste for the forbidden fruit of weddings that his future fiance will find delightful.