Q: I recently held a dinner with several couples from my neighborhood. We had a wonderful time, but at the end of the evening a few guests lingered long after the party ended. What should I have done?
A: Even the best parties have to end sometime — but some guests just don’t get the hint when it is time to leave. If starting to clean up and other tricks don’t work, it is OK to let guests know that the party is winding down. Tell them that you have had a nice time but that you have to get up early the next day. Or say, “I have to ‘close down’ in 15 minutes,” which allows them to depart in a relaxed fashion.


{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
I recently attended a family Easter celebration. Trying to be ever helpful, beforehand I offered to bring a dish to the gathering. The hostess told me that was unnecessary, but asked if I would bring a specific desert that was a favorite of her husbands’. From previous experience, I knew that if I brought this dessert (a pie) it would not be served; in the past, it has been whisked away before the other guests could see it, so that the host may eat it later. I still wanted to contribute to the celebration and this dessert is a favorite of my family’s, so I made 2 pies – one to serve and one as a gift for the host and hostess. Upon arriving, BOTH pies were taken and hidden out of sight, neither pie being served at all. Before the celebration, I told the hostess my plan of making 2 pies, and the purpose of each. Is it poor etiquette that both pies weren’t served?
Sincerely,
Pie-less
The case of the disappearing pies. Bringing a desert to share to a dinner can be tricky in that the host may have a desert plan already in place. Unless you have been specifically asked to contribute something I would not take it personally that the pie is treated more as a host gift than a treat to be shared. It is nice of you to be thinking about a good way to acknowledge your host and it sounds like your pies are indeed appreciated even if they do not reappear at the end of the meal.
Daniel, in this case, the hostess did ask Patty to bring the pie, and Patty brought two. If I had been in Patty’s shoes, after the meal was finished, I’d have offered to help serve dessert and asked the hostess where the pie was, and proceeded to cut it. If the hostess balked, I’d reply, “Now, Jane, you know I brought one for Fred and one for everyone else!”