Awkward Admittance: When you forget someone's name

by EPI Staff on March 5, 2010

Q: What should you do if you’re about to introduce someone and suddenly can’t remember his name?

A: We’ve all been there — that awkward moment when we’re starting to make an introduction but can’t remember a name.  Just say, “I’m so embarrassed.  I have completely forgotten your name.”  If you suspect someone has forgotten your name, one of the kindest gestures you can make is to extend your hand and say “Hello, I’m Jane Smith.  It’s so nice to meet you.”

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Sherry Allen March 5, 2010 at 3:14 am

I am a consultant – just started – and I received a call from a customer who wants more work. He represents an architect firm and suggested we meet for lunch at a restaurant his company planned and built. He said “will you be my guest at . . . it is one of our properties”. My question is, I will gain from the work he sends my way, and he is my client, thus I should pay for lunch. But his wording was “be my guest” and he will be showing off his property. Should I try to pay? Or should I play the perfect guest?

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Daniel Post Senning March 5, 2010 at 8:17 am

Hi Sherry. This is a great question. As the invited party you are not incorrect to assume that your host will be paying. This is still common practice for a business appointment.
Having said this, if you feel there is uncertainty around that expectation, you might offer at the start of the meal (not when the check is presented) to split the bill with your host. Simply acknowledge his gracious invitation and indicate that you appreciate your mutually beneficial collaboration and wonder if he would let you contribute to or split the cost of the meal. He may say “Of course not. You are my guest but thank you for asking.” Or he might say “That would be appreciated. Thank you for asking.” Either way you will both know what is expected and be able to enjoy your meal and focus on the business at hand. Whenever their is confusion about money, it is best to be clear and direct in communication to avoid difficult situations.

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Amy March 5, 2010 at 6:46 am

If it is just the two of you (not in an introduction to a third party), go for the simple, “I’m sorry, but could you remind me of your name?”

After my aunt got engaged, her mother could not remember my aunt’s fiance’s last name. Instead of asking her for his name outright, she asked how to spell his name, under the guise of getting it correct for the newspaper announcement!

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Graceandhonor March 16, 2010 at 5:08 pm

I find humor becoming more and more useful in this circumstance, “Please don’t be offended I have forgotten your name, as I can’t remember my own half the time!”

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