1. Carolyn Stalcup

    Has the folding of a rectangular napkin changed? The video shows the open edgesof the napkin away from the plate. I was taught that the open edge was to be toward the plate so one could pick up the lower cornerof the napkin beside the plate and open the napkin.

    • Daniel Post Senning

      From The Art of the Table by Suzanne Von Drachenfels (pg 346), “The ‘next-to-the-fork fold’ frames the place setting, and when the napkin is lifted for use the fingers do not hit the flatware. The ‘away-from-the-fork fold’ places the four points of the napkin closer to the diner, a fold that assures a smooth movement when the napkin is placed in the lap. As the placement of the fold is a matter of personal preference, the important point is to face the fold in the same direction at each cover.”

  2. Marie L.


    I am having a wedding in the state I grew up in (California). I currently live in Arizona. My fiance’s aunts and uncles live in the mid-west.

    Since the wedding and initial reception will be in California, we plan on having a belated reception in Arizona. I am not able to invite to the wedding all our friends and relatives that live in Arizona and the mid-west. For the engagement party, bridal shower and bachelorette party we will have in Arizona, am I allowed to invite the people who are invited to the belated reception in Arizona but not to the actual wedding in California?

    Thank you for your help,
    Marie L.

  3. Tea Jordan

    Re: Marie L.

    It has always been my understanding if that a person is not being invited to the wedding they should not be invited to a shower. In other words, don’t expect people not invited to the wedding to attend any gift giving functions related to the wedding. It’s rude.

  4. Marie L,
    Congratulations on your engagement! As you’re learning, wedding planning can be complicated. Proper etiquette dictates that only guests invited to the wedding should be invited to other wedding celebrations such as engagement parties, showers, etc. Your situation is one that many couples face today, because families are so spread out. You have some decisions to make:

    Would it be possible to invite Arizona friends and family to the wedding, even though it is likely they won’t attend? If it’s only a matter of printing additional invitations, then you might want to consider this. Some people may surprise you by making arrangements to attend, so if you do this be sure your reception site can accommodate additional guests.

    Another option would be to hold off on any pre-wedding festivities in Arizona and just focus on the belated reception.

    Finally, reassess your guest list. Don’t eliminate potential guests based on geography. If you’re inviting aunts and uncles, then do so across the board.

    Hope this helps!
    Best wishes,
    PR & Marketing for The Emily Post Institute

  5. Christine

    I have a class of 67 fifth graders. Some of them gave me personalized, special Valentine’s. Would it be appropriate to write little notes of thanks to them?

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