Sweet treatment: Valentines for all?

by EPI Staff on February 8, 2010

Q: My daughter’s kindergarten class is huge. Does she have to give a valentine to every kid?

A: Yes. In fact, this is probably the school’s policy, but even if it isn’t, it’s still the right thing to do. Explain to your daughter that it’s important to give valentines to all her classmates so that no one feels left out. If she wishes to send cards or treats to a few select friends instead, she could mail them, deliver them personally, or even have a Valentine’s Day party after school.

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Carolyn Stalcup February 8, 2010 at 3:18 pm

Has the folding of a rectangular napkin changed? The video shows the open edgesof the napkin away from the plate. I was taught that the open edge was to be toward the plate so one could pick up the lower cornerof the napkin beside the plate and open the napkin.


Daniel Post Senning February 9, 2010 at 11:49 am

I am looking into this and will get back to you with a reply shortly.


Daniel Post Senning February 10, 2010 at 5:32 am

From The Art of the Table by Suzanne Von Drachenfels (pg 346), “The ‘next-to-the-fork fold’ frames the place setting, and when the napkin is lifted for use the fingers do not hit the flatware. The ‘away-from-the-fork fold’ places the four points of the napkin closer to the diner, a fold that assures a smooth movement when the napkin is placed in the lap. As the placement of the fold is a matter of personal preference, the important point is to face the fold in the same direction at each cover.”


Marie L. February 8, 2010 at 6:25 pm


I am having a wedding in the state I grew up in (California). I currently live in Arizona. My fiance’s aunts and uncles live in the mid-west.

Since the wedding and initial reception will be in California, we plan on having a belated reception in Arizona. I am not able to invite to the wedding all our friends and relatives that live in Arizona and the mid-west. For the engagement party, bridal shower and bachelorette party we will have in Arizona, am I allowed to invite the people who are invited to the belated reception in Arizona but not to the actual wedding in California?

Thank you for your help,
Marie L.


Tea Jordan February 9, 2010 at 6:24 am

Re: Marie L.

It has always been my understanding if that a person is not being invited to the wedding they should not be invited to a shower. In other words, don’t expect people not invited to the wedding to attend any gift giving functions related to the wedding. It’s rude.


Elizabeth February 9, 2010 at 6:32 am

Marie L,
Congratulations on your engagement! As you’re learning, wedding planning can be complicated. Proper etiquette dictates that only guests invited to the wedding should be invited to other wedding celebrations such as engagement parties, showers, etc. Your situation is one that many couples face today, because families are so spread out. You have some decisions to make:

Would it be possible to invite Arizona friends and family to the wedding, even though it is likely they won’t attend? If it’s only a matter of printing additional invitations, then you might want to consider this. Some people may surprise you by making arrangements to attend, so if you do this be sure your reception site can accommodate additional guests.

Another option would be to hold off on any pre-wedding festivities in Arizona and just focus on the belated reception.

Finally, reassess your guest list. Don’t eliminate potential guests based on geography. If you’re inviting aunts and uncles, then do so across the board.

Hope this helps!
Best wishes,
PR & Marketing for The Emily Post Institute


Christine February 14, 2012 at 11:29 am

I have a class of 67 fifth graders. Some of them gave me personalized, special Valentine’s. Would it be appropriate to write little notes of thanks to them?


Just Laura February 14, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Entirely appropriate! What better way to promote positive relationships, and instill the notion that people appreciate being thanked for their efforts? <3


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