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- French Fries – How Do I Eat Them?There are many foods that present a classic dilemma for diners young and old. The question is, “fork or fingers?” The answer is sometimes definitive – you definitely eat your peas and mashed potatoes with a fork. That’s a no-brainer. But how about french fries? It’s a sometimes fingers/sometimes forks answer: If the food the […]
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- French Fries – How Do I Eat Them?
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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
I would like to wear gloves to my daughters wedding.
It is at 2pm.Is it done?
Hi Paula,
According to Peggy Post’s Wedding Etiquette(5th ed.) gloves are normally worn for formal weddings but are optional otherwise, so you may take a cue from the degree of formality of your daughter’s wedding. The book specifically notes that gloves are optional for a semi-formal afternoon affair, but if you want to wear them, I would say go for it!
Hope this helps!
Kerrie
(Emily Post Intern)
Wrist-length white cotton or kid gloves would be entirely appropriate!
My daughter is writing thank you notes for gifts from her recent wedding. One of the couples (he was a groomsman) sending a gift is now divorced. To whom does she write the note(s)?
It would be a good idea to write a separate note to both the groomsman and his ex wife.
I am planning a dinner party for St. Patrick’s Day. I am setting the menu as Corned Beef, cabbage, veggies and bread. I plan to serve a cheese plate as an appetizer and cookies for dessert. We have some VERY good friends that I’d like to include. Mrs. Friend does not eat red meat. How do I handle this? Do I invite her, inform her of the menu, and let her decide if the sides are going to be enough of a dinner for her? Do I need to prepare a separate entree for her? Should I not include her? Thanks for any advice!
Hi Erin. We launched this blog on St. Patrick’s day last year and I look forward to it as our community anniversary. I have re-posted a very general answer to your question that appeared on this blog July 2nd followed by a few thoughts specific to your situation.
Placating Picky Eaters: Ensuring all your guests are happy
Q: We entertain a great deal, and I usually don’t now if our guests are vegetarians or have food allergies-until they’re sitting at my dining room table and not touching the main course. Should I be asking everyone ahead of time about dietary restrictions?
A: If you’re having a few people over for a dinner party or a weekend stay, it’s a good idea to check, especially if you’re planning to serve a dish some people can’t handle. You could say, “We’re thinking about having shellfish, and I wondering if you’re able to eat shrimp or clams.” Another approach: “I haven’t bought groceries yet for the weekend-any preferences?” When you’re planning a larger party, you needn’t ask each guest about food restrictions, but to be on the safe side, make sure you include some “neutral” dishes such as a vegetable platter, pasta with meatless sauce, fresh fruit for dessert. That way, everybody will find something he or she enjoys.
In your case where you know that there is a conflict between the diet of one of your guests and what you plan to serve, I would call your friends and ask them how they feel about the meal you are planning to prepare. Have some solutions ready, in case they really can’t eat anything that you are thinking of serving. You could offer to stew a side of vegetables that won’t sit in the roast gravy. You could offer to keep a hot plate or a warm oven ready for a vegetarian dish if they would prefer to bring a separate plate of food or a casserole to share as some people with strict diets really do prefer to bring food that they know they can enjoy. If neither of these options will work, you might decide to host them on a different night when the menu could be better suited to their diet. By having solutions in hand when you speak you show forethought that illustrates you care about the relationship and about doing right by your guests. At the same time, as the host you may still choose to cook and serve what you like. To me, the St. Patty’s day fair you describe sounds delicious. Best of luck with the rest of your planing.
I use personalized stationery. I’ve noticed some people will line out their name with the pen they are writing the note with. Why do this? Did I miss an important lesson along the way?
thanks so much,
a letter sender
Hello fellow Daniel. I contacted Tricia Post, our etiquette historian and details expert, to reference your question. She has not heard of a practice like the one you describe and guesses that it must be a personal style choice of your corespondent. She remarked to me that most people have their personal stationary designed in a manner they prefer. While most people want their stationary to stand on its own, someone might choose a design that they like to personalize with a flourish like the one you describe. For now, rest assured that you have not missed an important form or tradition.
thanks so much for your prompt reply.
This practice is intended to convey to the recipient that the sender considers the recipient to be in the sender’s inner circle, a signal they are intimates and do not stand on the formality of full names. Thus, “Harrison James Thurston III” strikes thru his printed name and scrawls “Stinky” as his signature.
Some friends of mine and I are having a discussion about knocking to enter homes. We live in a rural community and most of my friends do not lock their doors and generally have open policies about entering. When we visit we knock and enter immediately with a verbal greeting. A city friend says that is only true with “ill-bred” people. What do you think? Thanks for your imput.
This is an example of an acceptable local practice that is not universal. Still, I would wait to be asked to enter, in case something is cooking in the kitchen but not on the stove.
When a death occurs in the winter months and internment cannot occur until the Spring, who should be invited to attend the internment, and how formal does the service need to be?
Hello Kay. I apologize that I have not responded sooner but I wanted to check with some of the other staff at the institute about your question. The general answer is that there is a great deal of latitude in how you handle this. Funeral and internment services used to be almost exclusively solemn affairs that often followed strict protocols. The trend in more recent years has been toward thinking of these gatherings as celebrations of the life of the deceased that may be as varied and individual as the people they honor. Usually, the services honoring the deceased get smaller and more personal the further away you get from the time of passing but you might choose to have a formal service and internment months later for a number of reasons. I would think about allowing for the natural healing process that will already have begun for many when making plans but follow your instincts for what appears to be the best way to honor the deceased.