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This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.
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- The Gift of Good Manners
- A Greeting for Ramadan“In an increasingly multi-cultural society, it is respectful to know what people of different religions are celebrating during holidays and whether there is a traditional holiday greeting (Saying to a workmate, ‘Hope you have a blast on your day off!’ is hardly appropriate for either Good Friday or Yom Kippur, both days of serious reflection).” […]
- Corn on the CobIt’s August in New England and that means one very important thing: Corn on the Cob! It’s a favorite menu item in the summer. However, corn on the cob shows up in the Those Trickier Situations chapter in our TABLE MANNERS FOR KIDS book for a reason. How do you eat corn on the cob […]
- The Etiquette Business – Challenge Number 4Sometimes when I tell people what I do, they sort of laugh and say, “Manners? Does anybody really pay attention to manners anymore?” What I have found is that many, many people do pay attention. However, there are definite challenges that come along with promoting etiquette/manners in the today’s world. I’ve […]
- A Greeting for Ramadan
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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
When is specious excuse to wear the national costume for the business people and government people?
In the national hols time, in the parlament, when representing country in the exibitions or international meetings?
What is appropriate in USA?
Regards,
Alvyda
The United States does not have one national costume, so that is why we do not wear one abroad, unless it is to commemorate a particular historical event.
It is common for other nationalities to wear their national costumes to political or social events when they are respresenting their countries in a formal capacity.
Americans enjoy seeing visitors in their native costume as many of us may trace our ancestry to their country.
I would suggest contacting your nation’s diplomatic corps for direction in your particular situation.
Is it customary to feed the photographer, DJ, and florist? The florist is a friend of a friend and will be moving flowers from the ceremony to reception.
Thank you!
The band/DJ and photographer are often present when food is served and are often included in the dinner count for this reason even if they do not sit with the guests. In your case you might also include the florist as she is a family friend and it sounds like she would be present when food is being served as well. Good luck with the rest of your planning.
Is it appropriate to not give “+1″ or “and guest” invitations to single/divorced/widowed wedding guests? Where do you draw the line to determine which guests receive the “+1″ invitations?
It is up to those planning the wedding whether or not they wish to invite singles to bring a guest. Spouses, couples who live together, and others in established long term relationships are invited as couples with both parties mentioned by name if possible. Wedding guests lists are often the result of careful planning and many difficult decisions. There is no traditional expectation that single guests are allowed to bring a date of their choosing when some family and friends may have been left off the list. Having said this there may be a single person who does not know the other guests or who has just been through a difficult breakup who would feel much more comfortable if they could bring some company. It is always a good idea to think about each guest individual situation when making this choice keeping in mind that it is not always a bad thing to invite a few singles and seat them together. I found myself remarking just yesterday that more than one wedding began with an introduction at another.
Question:I need advice on how to address an issue regarding hosting a baby shower. I had initially offered to host a baby shower, as my friend commented that she had never had a “nice” wedding shower. I was glad to offer, but relayed that the limit (because it was at my house) was about 12-15, because it would be a formal sit-down tea — and, that she relayed that she was expecting about 12 or so friends to show up. When I received the final list, there were 22 names on the list, and she asked for an additional two for her co-workers. Then, she asked that we add a few more, this afternoon — after the hand-made invites went out this morning. When I told her it would be difficult to make additional invites because they are handmade, she offered to call the extra people. She relayed that she didn’t think everyone would come, and also inserted that she wanted to get as many gifts as possible (which particularly offends me). I’m hurt in that I’m feeling used, and even more flabergasted that she is only thinking of the gifts. And, this is only of “one” of the problems I have encountered to date.
I need to know how (or if) to continue, by asserting more authority in defining what I can and can’t do — and, also want to ask if it may be inappropriate to cancel the shower. I have reiterated my requests that she be cognizant of my situation (as I’m also departing for a trip, and returning two weeks prior to the shower– but, have pretty much completed the initial planning), but she continues to not acknowledge me on that level. Please help — I want to be a gracious hostess, but I don’t feel compelled to host, as it it not turning out to be anywhere enjoyable.
You are kind to be playing the role of shower host for your friend. It sounds to me like it is time to have a talk with her. Without accusing her of bad behavior tell her how you feel and more importantly, what you can accommodate at your house given the time you have to plan. If you are clear about your parameters then your friend can choose whether she is willing accept your help on those terms or not. The sooner you can do this the better as it is probably getting too late to cancel the shower and I am guessing you would not want to do that anyway. There is probably still time to change the location and the nature of the party (from a formal tea to an informal gathering at a club or restaurant) if your friend wants to invite more people than you can host. Far from being unreasonable, practicality demands a solution moving forward if more people are being invited than you can accommodate. Good luck with the rest of the planning and have a great trip.