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Do the bride’s parents contact the groom’s parents after the engagement? Or do the groom’s parents contact the bride’s parents after the engagement?
Conventional etiquette calls for the parents of the future groom to contact the bride’s family.
I am working on the wording for my wedding invitations and I have a father, who is a Doctor and is remarried and mother who has the same last name as my father and is not married.
My father is paying for the wedding and I think it is appropriate to acknowledge my stepmother on the invitations, as she has helped contribute financially and is very involved in my life.
My mother would like to be listed as “Mrs,” though she is not married and I am concerned that this will read confusing to our guests and possibly insult my father and stepmother. At the same time, I do not want to insult my mother.
How do you suggest I word their names on the invitations ?
Hi Emily,
Thank you for writing. First of all, it is okay for a divorced woman to use Mrs. and her married last name, however she only uses these with her first name, so: Mrs. Jane Smith is okay, whereas Mrs. John Smith, where John Smith is her ex-husband, is not.
Regardless of who is paying, as a courtesy, names on a wedding invite should go in this order:
Mrs. Jane Smith [bride's mother]
Doctor and Mrs. John Smith [bride's father]
request the honour of your presence/pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
Sarah Anne [your name]
(etc.)
If the groom’s parents are going to be on the invitation as well, their names would be listed following your parents’ names, with the groom’s mother’s name first and father’s name second in the case of a divorce.
When family circumstances are too difficult to sort out neatly on paper, there is also the option of simply saying:
The parents of Your Name and Your Groom’s Name
or
The families of Your Name and Your Groom’s Name
or
Together with their families, Your Name and Your Groom’s Name
request the honour of your presence/pleasure of your company
at their marriage
(etc.)
Hope this helps!
-Kerrie
(Emily Post intern)
New Question:
I overheard my sister’s husband on the the cell phone talking in a somewhat sexual manner to what I believe is another woman.
Before and after the phone call, he seemed nervous and a bit anxious. I did not treat him differently as not to cause alarm.
I made note of time of day and date of when he was on cell phone.
Should I inform my sister to check the cell phone records to track down the phone number and let her confront him?
This is a very difficult question in that you are not sure about the nature of what you witnessed. First I would ask myself how certain I am that what I heard warrants my getting involved in a very personal situation. If you still feel that you should say something, and this is reasonable if you have discovered dishonesty in a marriage, I would talk to your brother in law if he is safe to approach. Tell him what you heard and explain that it made you uncomfortable. Tell him that you plan on talking to your sister about it as well but that you want to give him a chance to respond to you as well as to her. I am sorry for your difficulty with this unfortunate situation.
is it necessary to pay for dinner when invited to the theater as guests
Traditionally, the one who does the inviting is the host, and pays for the meal. If there is any uncertainty it is good idea to discuss questions of money ahead of time to avoid any unpleasant confusion when it is time to pick up the check.