Q: My niece is getting married soon. I hosted a wedding shower for her and bought her a nice gift. Am I also supposed to buy her a wedding gift? I will not be attending her wedding. A friend of mine tells me that you always buy a wedding gift in addition to a shower gift.
A: Yes, a shower and a wedding are two separate events. Since you hosted the shower, you were not obligated to give her a gift. Hosting the shower would be considered a gift in itself. However, an invitation to wedding requires a gift whether or not you attend.
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Should one send a thank you for a get well card?
While there is no clear social obligation for replying to a get well card with a thank you note, it is almost always appreciated when one can acknowledge a kind act with a written thank you.
My fiance and I are planning to get married in the Virgin Islands. Are we responsible for paying for our guests to attend?
Sitting in Burlington Vermont at the end of February this sounds delightful to me. In answer to your question, it is not expected that the hosts cover travel costs for guests at a destination wedding. It can be thoughtful to include information with the invitation about different ways to book travel and accommodations for different budgets. For some people the cost of attending may be prohibitive but this is a choice that invitees will make for themselves. Best of luck with the rest of your planning.
I have an employee whose daughter is getting married this summer. She has not invited me to the wedding, but should I give a gift of some sort because I know she is getting married?
This would be a lovely gesture and demonstrate in one way why you have risen to the level of boss.
My husband’s distant cousin is getting married this summer and we are not invited (but his parents and aunts are). We do not know her or her fiance so we are perfectly fine with this. However, I just received an invitation to her bridal shower in 3 weeks and I don’t think I will be going. I know that if I go I will be expected to bring a small gift from her registry, but if I don’t go am I obligated to buy them a gift? (I’m not sure that this matters…she was not invited to my wedding, did not attend my bridal shower, and I don’t believe she gave us a wedding gift).
Whether or not she was invited to your wedding festivities is irrelevant. I’m sorry that you aren’t invited to the wedding but are invited to the shower, as that’s not a polite thing to do. No, you do not have to buy a gift for a bridal shower you do not attend.
No gift is necessary if you don’t attend unless you are feeling benevolent!