Q: My son’s new teacher gives kids a few pieces of candy when they get 100 percent on a spelling quiz. I limit his sweets – how can I tell her I’m not crazy about this policy?
A: First, ask yourself how important this is to you. If you mention the candy rewards to the teacher, there’s no guarantee she’ll change the policy, especially if it seems to work in motivating the other kids. She may simply opt to give your son a non-candy prize, and that might make him feel self-conscious about being singled out.
If you feel strongly about the issue of candy, though, schedule a time to have a talk with the teacher. Let her know the limits you’ve established at home, and explain that her rewards are undermining your efforts. Suggest some possible alternatives, such as stickers, a fun pencil, or extra computer time. But speak only for your son – don’t insist that she change her approach for the rest of the class. Perhaps if you’re very convincing, she’ll establish a new reward program that works for everyone.
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Keep in mind that teachers have to pay for these rewards out of their own pockets, and that non-candy prizes are significantly more expensive than candy. If the teacher is responsive to your suggestion, help her jump-start her stash with a basket of prizes or a gift card to the local parent-teacher store.
I really like this idea. It helps to be part of the solution. Advice and personal opinions are more likely to be honored when we are willing to take steps to back them up.
More and more school systems are adopting policies that prohibit schools and teachers from giving students food. Part of the concern is related to allergies. Some school systems share your concern about using candy as a motivator and would like teachers to use non-food treats for students.
This might be a good issue to raise at a PTA or PTO meeting as well. Remember, though, that restricting candy as a reward will also result in no food for parties, birthdays, or other social events. Making a small request can lead to larger consequences.
Is it really THAT much candy that you feel the need to do something about it?
I agree with Amy; teachers often pay for the extras (ex: candies, stickers, prizes) out of pocket. They’re the extras students and perhaps parents expect to see but don’t realise who’s paying for those. Teachers often choose treats/prizes/gifts for their students based on what they can afford. As a teacher, I certainly use the price per treat as the main criteria when shopping. It’s much more affordable to offer a gummy worm than a pencil or eraser every week. I give pencils/erasers/pricier things on more special occasions.
Regardless, I’d like the writer to consider having his/her son refusing the candy treat and then the parent can provide a different reward at home. This way, the child isn’t singled out by the teacher nor is the teacher put in an awkward position of providing a different prize to one student. That can cause problems for the teachers from others.
Laura also brought up a good point. If school or district policies move towards no-food incentives due to allergy concerns, that will impact what can or cannot be brought in for other occasions. Personally, I hope that my district doesn’t create such a policy. I make my choices based on my students’ allergy concerns each year, and so far, the food rewards haven’t been an issue, even for those kids with allergies.
As a teacher myself, I know the heart for the children that is behind the giving. Believe me, teaching isn’t a profession we enter because we want a substantial bank account. I think you would be shocked if you knew how much of our paychecks go back into our classrooms because we truly care enough to not only see what needs doing, but are willing to do it ourselves when the funding isn’t available. When you ask us to give something different, you’re in effect telling us how to spend our money. Would you tell your mom you don’t want the gift that she gave you at Christmas? Would you tell her to take it back and buy something different that you want? Hopefully not. There is a protocol for receiving gifts, and you have the golden opportunity to teach him this valuable life lesson so he is not offensive when he receives something he may not want. There’s no reason why he can’t receive the candy graciously and dispose of it later – just like you would do if your mother gave you a hideous sweater at Christmas.
Thanks for sharing this Josie. Looking at the sweet as a gift to be accepted graciously is an approach that might be entirely appropriate in many circumstances.
Can I suggest the teacher uses stickers. Frequent use of sweets is really damaging your child’s teeth. Some children are more prone to decay than others so I am afraid giving out candies is a really bad idea.
You could encourage your child to bring his earned candy home from school instead of eating it there, and you can trade with him for a prize he will enjoy more than the candy. This would give him the option of choosing between instant gratification or saving for something better, teaching self-control.
Amy: How many pieces of candy is he receiving during the day? My recommendation is to put this issue into perspective. Couple of gummies a day will do no harm to your kid, he will be happy and the teacher will be able to reach to the class and accomplish the class goals.
If there is a big issue for you, inform the teacher about your rule regarding sweets at home, and ask your kid to say no thank you. My child is vegetarian and by no form or way I try to impose into others our decisions regarding foods. My son since early learned to say no thank you and he feel very happy and proud about it. When we go to an event or he goes to camp or field trips I check the menu, if there are no meat choices we pack things for him. It was my decision regarding food, and do not think it is correct impose into others our personal choices. Healthier or not, it still your personal choice.
This is a question that I have raised with colleagues; you are not alone with your worries. I personally believe that knick-knack rewards may have long-term negative side effects. I also completely disagree with the comment that children our learning to receive gifts graciously. What child would refuse a treat because his/her parents are opposed? What child would be obliged to throwing the treat away knowing that his/her parents would favor that behavior? You are only teaching the student to sneak (in any out come).
When we give treats to students we are instilling an idea that with every action there is a reward. That is not true. We are instilling an idea that behavior as expected is always the responsible behavior, after all this behavior gives rewards.
For health reasons I am largely against candy EVER being used as a reward; not only for the obvious growth of obesity in America, but also for psychological and dental reasons. Kids are relating happiness to eating. Additionally, every interaction with sugar is a 20 minute attack on the teeth. It really does not matter how much sugar, only that there was sugar. So if you gulp down a Mountain Dew your teeth are much safer than if you were to sip it slowly over a period of time. In context, you give a child a piece of candy, 20 minutes later you give them another piece. They go to lunch and eat a sugary treat. Come back to class and earn another piece of candy. go for recess, come back in and eat their afternoon snack, a sugary delight no doubt. Your three treats that you have given the child has caused a violent and nearly continuous attack on your students teeth for several hours. How are you caring for the child?
Additionally, from my experience, the teachers who give sugary treat rewards are also the teachers that mysteriously have the most behavior problems. I wonder if there is a connection…
Reality is, teachers whom use candy to reward are really only using candy to maintain their own sanity. A teacher who respects ones own students will receive respect in return.
There are so many ways to encourage positive behavior then with bribes and threats. The power of respect and high expectations is amazing.