Comments on: Wedding Gifts: The second time around

By: Winifred Rosenburg

Winifred Rosenburg — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 22:43:33 +0000

You don’t have to give a gift assuming you gave her a gift for her first marriage. If you want to you can spend however much or little you want on it, but your gift card more than covers your obligation.

By: Alicia

Alicia — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 20:23:41 +0000

Gifts should always be in proportion to your own budget and how close to the gift recipient you are as well as your feelings about the happiness of the event. So yes as her mother you should give a gift. only you can determine the price. I would encourage you to give an item maybe an heirloom or something to be treasured into the future as your gift will thus over time gain meaning.

By: Babs

Babs — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 20:08:28 +0000

I am the mother of the bride. It is my daughter’s second marriage and his first. She had a shower and was only registered at a travel agent. I gave them an American Express gift card worth $200. What would be an appropriate amount to give them as a wedding gift? Do I have to give a gift at all? I am torn.

By: Graceandhonor

Graceandhonor — Thu, 13 May 2010 00:49:38 +0000

Sure, as long as the guests were not invited to a shower for her first wedding, and the bride doesn’t get carried away with gift registries.

By: Naomi

Naomi — Wed, 12 May 2010 06:09:00 +0000

Is it appropriate to have a bridal shower for someone getting married for the second time?

By: Graceandhonor

Graceandhonor — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 14:44:36 +0000

A gift for a second wedding should not approach the same cost as hosting a first wedding. And more importantly, don’t you want to demonstrate you support your daughter in starting her new marriage, despite any problems you’ve encountered with her? Necessary? No. Loving? Yes.

By: barb

barb — Sat, 17 Apr 2010 21:52:27 +0000

Is it necessary to give our daughter a wedding gift if this is her second marriage? After all we footed the first wedding.

By: Michele

Michele — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 17:37:19 +0000

When my husband and I married, it was a second marriage for me, no ceremony or party 1st time. Because we were combining two households, traditional gifts were not needed. We registered at Target and the things on our registry were more family gifts, camping items, board games, etc. The point being if you wanted to give a gift, these are things we could use, ultimately most folks gave us money or traditional gifts, later many told us they could not see buying Monopoly or Clue as a wedding gift. When I receive wedding invites, often for people I do not know, like a co-workers children, I tend to send a card with a small monetary gift and forgo the ceremony as I don’t feel the need to participate in what should be a family and close friend affair. If it is a family member or close friend, I try to choose something more personal either from their registry or something I have made personally for them, whether I am attending or not, regardless of if it is a first wedding or a second or more. When someone is re saying vows or re marrying the same spouse, a card wishing them well is normally all I feel is needed, although sometimes a bottle of wine may be appropriate, much like if invited to their home for dinner.

By: Kathleen

Kathleen — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 06:57:34 +0000

My nephew and his bride to be mailed magnets with information on where to shop for the couple, a magnet assoiciated with one’s wedding is bad enough however, to make it worse these were mailed three months before the invitations. I found this to be terribly rude, however my husband thinks I’m over reacting and nixed my suggested gift; an etiquette book. What do you think? By the way the wedding was four months ago and we haven’t received even an acknowledgement of the gift.

By: Daniel Post Senning

Daniel Post Senning — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 18:37:01 +0000

I believe the question is meant to suggest that often people are invited to a wedding knowing one party or the other, and often times that person (the one they know) has been married before. I do like the way you are thinking about this. You are correct that in many situations it would be both appropriate and advisable to give a gift at a ‘second’ wedding for exactly the reasons that you describe. The idea that giving a wedding gift is in some way an exchange for the cost of inviting a guest is incorrect and leads many people to believe that the value of the gift should equal at least the value of the dinner. While this is an easy rule to remember gift giving is a more subtle and personal choice than this rule implies, as you indicate in the beginning of your post.