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I have a question. My girlfriends and I have had a 7 day cruise planned for a year. The same 4 friends cruised 2 years ago and we have met for dinner every other month for several years now. The same 4 friends are going on the cruise- but this time we voted to bringing our husbands (2 of us are married). This as I said was planned for a year now. Now 7 weeks before the cruise one of the girls has a friend whom she was talking to about the cruise and this friend wants to come. We have never met her as she is from out of state. This brings our total to 7. If I say NO am I the bad guy?
No, you aren’t the bad guy, but go with safety in numbers and enlist support from other group members. These types of groups take time to develop and the chemistry is often thrown off with the introduction of others, particularly during “special” events such as your cruise. This is not to say that others can’t be introduced and eventually thoroughly assimilated in the group, but this takes time and care. You all need to explain this to the member wanting to include her friend, offering to meet her in the near future, but not on this cruise. And,yes, the odd number may prove awkward, too.
Thank you for your quick reply. I appreciate it. I did respond and tried to be kind. There is really no good answer, if I say no she will be hurt and we feel bad. If we say yes to a total stranger – well we don’t feel so good.
It would be nice of your friend to consider the feelings of the group first. You are due her first allegiance.
My husband’s aunt recently passed away. Without making it too complicated, the aunt was my husband’s father’s sister’s husband’s sister. We all loved her and she was close to all of us. In writing a condolence card , do I address the letter to my husband’s uncle? Or to him and his wife?
Address it to both of them, as they both are suffering the loss, he of his sister, and she of her sister-in-law. This is always the general modus operandi for married couples in which one has lost an immediate family member.