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My boyfriend is in our friend’s wedding party, I’m attending as a guest, he and I have been together for 8 years and we’ve known the couple for quite some time…My question is..b/c my boyfriend is wearing a tux; is it acceptable for me to wear a long dress to the reception? or should I just stick to cocktail length?..the wedding and reception are at the same venue and everything starts at 6pm and flows from one thing to the next.
If the invitation specified black tie, then you may wear a long gown; otherwise, cocktail length is appropriate.
Good morning!
I’ll premise this question with a bit of background information. My boyfriend and I are on very cordial/pleasant terms with his former girlfriend of five years, who has invited us to her wedding in May. However, her fiancee absolutely loathes my boyfriend, and has made no attempt to keep his feelings secret.
I know it would hurt her feelings if we decline the invitation, but I feel that although her fiancee may be misguided in his violent protest of their friendship, it is still his wedding and his day, and it’s rude to attend and knowingly cause him unhappiness. How should we approach this situation?
Moreover, what is your general opinion of attending the wedding of an ex, in the event that we are in this situation again?
Thank you for your help!
It is puzzling that your boyfriend’s ex would invite him to her wedding, knowing her fiance’s feelings about your boyfriend. You are correct to decline the invitation. Do send them a nice gift and warm wishes and let it lie. It is certainly fine to attend an ex’s wedding if both the bride and groom are ok with it, but if not, don’t.
Is it more appropriate to send a thank you on a printed Thank You Note or on a note, card, or leaflet from your personal desktop stationary? I understand that a hand written note is a must to express your gratitude but what medium should it ideally be on?
Dear Melodi,
I was taught as a girl to send thank you notes on a plain foldover card; I then graduated to my own monogram. I was taught pre-printed cards with “Thank You” were less than optimal, perhaps for those who haven’t yet discovered the joy of custom stationery. That being said, there are some wonderful lines of papers available today in every conceivable design, shape and size. As this thread today demonstrates, writing and receiving a note, period, is the most important thing, no matter what it comes on. As for a card, note or leaflet, let the length of your missive determine which to use.
I just attended a baby shower for a friend. A piece a paper was passed around during the evening titled ” I do not want a thank you note”. What do you think of this? Thank you.
I hope someone gave this baby one of Cindy Post Senning’s books on manners for children, as the poor child won’t be learning them from his mother.
It pains me to read this. I think it is a shame that people even look upon a thank you note as an obligation instead of an honest, heart-felt note of gratitude that it should be. I sometimes feel the pessure of getting notes written in a timely manner when I have several to write but to put people in such an uncomfortable position of feeling pressured to declining a thank you is in poor taste.
I recently made even more of a point to write thank you notes to people who are helpful and I have already noticed a very positive response. People seem geniunely amazed that they received a hand-written thank you. I am standing out in a very positive way for being thoughtful and I am getting to use my lovely stationary that I enjoy so much
I could not agree more, Melodi.
one word: tacky.
My sister-in-law has been generous in keeping a connection with me and my Mom with her children despite issues between our families. We celebrate the holidays typically in January and tell each other what we would like to receive and this year my sister law indicated she wanted a Starbuck’s card. Her family gave quite a lot to me and my Mom this year and we were generous with gifts given to the rest of her family. However, my Mom only gave my sister-in-law an inexpensive hat, scarf & gloves or a $15 gift. Now I think that I should have given my sister in law at a $50 Starbuck’s card versus the $25 Starbuck’s card. So would it be tacky to send her a thank you note with another $25 Starbuck’s card to recognize her generosity & efforts to keep us connected as a family or simply wait for the next gift giving opportunity like her birthday or Mother’s Day? We typically do not exchange gifts any other time of the year beyond the Christmas Holiday. However, my Mom and I do give her children birthday gifts. I am typically generous but this year given the economy…I was more careful amount the money that I spent on individual gifts and allocated more of the money towards her children. My brother and sister-in-law are in a much better financial position than me & Mom… but I woke up this morning feeling like the $25 Starbuck’s was too small of a gift and do not want to slight my sister-in-law! So what can I do now to ensure that my sister-in-law has not been offended?
Why don’t you wait a few weeks and send her a warm note with another Starbuck’s card then? Say something along the lines, “Thinking of you and hoping this will keep you warm until spring arrives!” Your s-i-l sounds like a nice, generous person and it is good of you to recognize this.
I am the maid of honor in my sister’s wedding and am hosting a wedding shower for her this month in the city she lives in. I am also attending an out of state bachelorette party next month. Some friends of hers that I do not know are throwing her 2 showers next month. I live in another city, and all of the travel can be a bit much. Should I be attending all of the showers? I am not sure that I can afford it.
I’m sure if you explain this to your sister, she’ll understand. Be sure to convey your regrets and best wishes to the hostesses of the two showers you cannot attend.