Comments on: One Day, Two Weddings: What's a person to do? http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2010/01/one-day-two-weddings-whats-a-person-to-do/ Tue, 07 Feb 2012 16:07:47 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Alicia http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2010/01/one-day-two-weddings-whats-a-person-to-do/#comment-8107 Alicia Thu, 21 Apr 2011 19:43:10 +0000 http://www.etiquettedaily.com/?p=1957#comment-8107 I think you need to go to the one you are wedding party at. The other one did not officially invite you yet or else you would haveknown the date from the invite. Go to the one where you are a bridesmaid. Send a gift and plan to get together with the other couple shortly after they are back from their honeymoon to view wedding pictures Sad but this is the only option. Elizabeth is right. I think you need to go to the one you are wedding party at. The other one did not officially invite you yet or else you would haveknown the date from the invite. Go to the one where you are a bridesmaid. Send a gift and plan to get together with the other couple shortly after they are back from their honeymoon to view wedding pictures
Sad but this is the only option. Elizabeth is right.

]]> By: Elizabeth http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2010/01/one-day-two-weddings-whats-a-person-to-do/#comment-8106 Elizabeth Thu, 21 Apr 2011 18:38:26 +0000 http://www.etiquettedaily.com/?p=1957#comment-8106 It's an unfortunate situation, but I think Laura is right - you already committed to be in a wedding party. Tell your other friend that you'll make a special trip to see her and celebrate another time soon, but after she has the proofs so you can see all the photos. What else can you do? It’s an unfortunate situation, but I think Laura is right – you already committed to be in a wedding party. Tell your other friend that you’ll make a special trip to see her and celebrate another time soon, but after she has the proofs so you can see all the photos. What else can you do?

]]> By: Just Laura http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2010/01/one-day-two-weddings-whats-a-person-to-do/#comment-8105 Just Laura Thu, 21 Apr 2011 18:28:01 +0000 http://www.etiquettedaily.com/?p=1957#comment-8105 You have agreed to be an important part of a friend's wedding. Please do not be so unkind as to leave this friend hanging on her special day. You have agreed to be an important part of a friend’s wedding. Please do not be so unkind as to leave this friend hanging on her special day.

]]> By: bonnie http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2010/01/one-day-two-weddings-whats-a-person-to-do/#comment-8103 bonnie Thu, 21 Apr 2011 18:19:15 +0000 http://www.etiquettedaily.com/?p=1957#comment-8103 I have a similar dilemma and would appreciate thoughts and suggestions. Two of my closest friends are having their wedding on the same day in different states. One asked me to be in the wedding party and I agreed, not having known a confirmed date for the other friends wedding. I would think I should go to whoever asked me first but the other friend is practically a sister to me (the first friend to ask me I am really close to but not for as long and deep as my other friend.) What should I do and any tips on how to politely let down one of them? I have a similar dilemma and would appreciate thoughts and suggestions. Two of my closest friends are having their wedding on the same day in different states. One asked me to be in the wedding party and I agreed, not having known a confirmed date for the other friends wedding. I would think I should go to whoever asked me first but the other friend is practically a sister to me (the first friend to ask me I am really close to but not for as long and deep as my other friend.) What should I do and any tips on how to politely let down one of them?

]]> By: Just Laura http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2010/01/one-day-two-weddings-whats-a-person-to-do/#comment-6981 Just Laura Tue, 08 Mar 2011 14:12:59 +0000 http://www.etiquettedaily.com/?p=1957#comment-6981 I agree wholeheartedly with Alicia. A dear friend of my fiance's had already committed to attend a wedding on the same weekend as ours. The guy doesn't want to go (it was a friend of his wife's with whom he is only cordial), but says he is sorry and wants to set a good example for his two sons; i.e. that promises mean something, and aren't just around for convenience. Sure, we'll miss him, but completely understand. I agree wholeheartedly with Alicia.
A dear friend of my fiance’s had already committed to attend a wedding on the same weekend as ours. The guy doesn’t want to go (it was a friend of his wife’s with whom he is only cordial), but says he is sorry and wants to set a good example for his two sons; i.e. that promises mean something, and aren’t just around for convenience. Sure, we’ll miss him, but completely understand.

]]> By: Alicia http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2010/01/one-day-two-weddings-whats-a-person-to-do/#comment-6977 Alicia Tue, 08 Mar 2011 13:01:24 +0000 http://www.etiquettedaily.com/?p=1957#comment-6977 He had already commited to your sister. Once you make a commitment you are honor bound to follow thru unless illness ect. Basically you can only cancel for worse things not for better. The honorable thing he should have done is to tell friend that he was unable to attend her wedding as he had already commited to be at another wedding that day and that he was sorry and to wish her al sorts of happiness. He is being inconsiderate. That said he is your boyfriend not your husband and his not caring about your and your family and his commitments makes it unlikely you will still wish to be dating him come september so maybe you will have the change to meet a lovely groomsman at your sisters wedding instead. He had already commited to your sister. Once you make a commitment you are honor bound to follow thru unless illness ect. Basically you can only cancel for worse things not for better. The honorable thing he should have done is to tell friend that he was unable to attend her wedding as he had already commited to be at another wedding that day and that he was sorry and to wish her al sorts of happiness. He is being inconsiderate. That said he is your boyfriend not your husband and his not caring about your and your family and his commitments makes it unlikely you will still wish to be dating him come september so maybe you will have the change to meet a lovely groomsman at your sisters wedding instead.

]]> By: Melody http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2010/01/one-day-two-weddings-whats-a-person-to-do/#comment-6975 Melody Tue, 08 Mar 2011 12:46:28 +0000 http://www.etiquettedaily.com/?p=1957#comment-6975 Hello, I have a big issue. My sisters wedding is slated for 9/10/11 and I am the maid of honor. My boyfriend was asked a month ago if he could supply the music and possibly sing and he agreed. Now one of his good friends has just decided their date and it is the same day. The weddings are no where near each other and my boyfriend has now told his friend that he will sing at her wedding thus breaking his engagement at my sisters. My sister also picked the date because the weekend following is my boyfriends birthday so she didn't want it to fall on the same day. He is now saying that he barely knows my sister and feels more obligated to his friend however he is not the best man nor is he giving her away. I feel that because he already committed to my sisters wedding that he needs to keep his word, not to mention she is my family. He thinks that I am being inconsiderate and that he needs to go to his friends wedding because he has known her longer. What is the proper etiquette for this type of situation? Hello,

I have a big issue. My sisters wedding is slated for 9/10/11 and I am the maid of honor. My boyfriend was asked a month ago if he could supply the music and possibly sing and he agreed. Now one of his good friends has just decided their date and it is the same day. The weddings are no where near each other and my boyfriend has now told his friend that he will sing at her wedding thus breaking his engagement at my sisters. My sister also picked the date because the weekend following is my boyfriends birthday so she didn’t want it to fall on the same day. He is now saying that he barely knows my sister and feels more obligated to his friend however he is not the best man nor is he giving her away. I feel that because he already committed to my sisters wedding that he needs to keep his word, not to mention she is my family. He thinks that I am being inconsiderate and that he needs to go to his friends wedding because he has known her longer. What is the proper etiquette for this type of situation?

]]> By: Daniel Post Senning http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2010/01/one-day-two-weddings-whats-a-person-to-do/#comment-1758 Daniel Post Senning Thu, 11 Mar 2010 18:41:19 +0000 http://www.etiquettedaily.com/?p=1957#comment-1758 Groomzilla! Who knew? This is however one of the classic etiquette questions, as this happens more often than you might think. Groups of friends often tend to get married within a few years of each other and it is not unusual for these weddings to overlap during the same short wedding season. If you have already made a commitment to be a part of the first wedding and you intend to honor that commitment you should rsvp to the hosts of the second wedding as soon as possible. Simply express your regret in writing that you will not be able to attend. Be sure to wish them well and maybe even consider sending the rsvp with a wedding gift. Having done these two things you will have fulfilled the roles that you are supposed to play as an invited guest. Having done this, if you feel you should, contact your friend personally to explain that you have to honor your earlier commitment. He should be understanding as he would probably want you to pay him the same respect if you had committed to be part of his wedding already and someone else asked you to do something at the same time. This would be a great time to offer to get together and celebrate the new union in a way that works for both of you. Groomzilla! Who knew? This is however one of the classic etiquette questions, as this happens more often than you might think. Groups of friends often tend to get married within a few years of each other and it is not unusual for these weddings to overlap during the same short wedding season. If you have already made a commitment to be a part of the first wedding and you intend to honor that commitment you should rsvp to the hosts of the second wedding as soon as possible. Simply express your regret in writing that you will not be able to attend. Be sure to wish them well and maybe even consider sending the rsvp with a wedding gift. Having done these two things you will have fulfilled the roles that you are supposed to play as an invited guest. Having done this, if you feel you should, contact your friend personally to explain that you have to honor your earlier commitment. He should be understanding as he would probably want you to pay him the same respect if you had committed to be part of his wedding already and someone else asked you to do something at the same time. This would be a great time to offer to get together and celebrate the new union in a way that works for both of you.

]]> By: Carleigh http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2010/01/one-day-two-weddings-whats-a-person-to-do/#comment-1757 Carleigh Thu, 11 Mar 2010 02:53:57 +0000 http://www.etiquettedaily.com/?p=1957#comment-1757 I have also received wedding invitations from two people for the same day. They are both male best friends whom I have known since high school. One weeding is a traditional Catholic mass at noon followed by an afternoon reception. The other is an evening wedding. I have informed my two friends of the conflict and the later groom has insisted that I leave the reception of my other friend to make it to his ceremony. The thing is, I am an informal part of the wedding party as the host for the earlier wedding! How can I politely insist to the second groom, that while I would have liked to attend the wedding (which is 40 minutes away from the other reception) it isn't plausible? Please help, I don't want to hurt either friend. I have also received wedding invitations from two people for the same day. They are both male best friends whom I have known since high school. One weeding is a traditional Catholic mass at noon followed by an afternoon reception. The other is an evening wedding. I have informed my two friends of the conflict and the later groom has insisted that I leave the reception of my other friend to make it to his ceremony. The thing is, I am an informal part of the wedding party as the host for the earlier wedding! How can I politely insist to the second groom, that while I would have liked to attend the wedding (which is 40 minutes away from the other reception) it isn’t plausible? Please help, I don’t want to hurt either friend.

]]> By: Graceandhonor http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2010/01/one-day-two-weddings-whats-a-person-to-do/#comment-1756 Graceandhonor Mon, 25 Jan 2010 01:29:50 +0000 http://www.etiquettedaily.com/?p=1957#comment-1756 It is not a requirement that a maid of honor, nor a bridesmaid for that matter, host a shower for the bride, but good luck with your soiree! It is not a requirement that a maid of honor, nor a bridesmaid for that matter, host a shower for the bride, but good luck with your soiree!

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