Q: I’ve received two wedding invitations for the same day–one from a college friend and one from a cousin. Which one should take precedence?
A: The decision is yours: Think about which person you’re closer to. If you choose your friend, reach out to your family immediately (and in person, if possible) to minimize hurt feelings, and try to set up another time to see the couple. But whichever invitation you decline, send a note of thanks with an explanation and be sure to RSVP promptly to both.
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Help! My daughter included registry information inside her wedding invitations. Is there a way to address this after they’ve been sent out, or should I try to forget about it?
Thanks from a concerned Mother of the Bride
The damage has been done. Do encourage your daughter to be especially careful from here on out and learn about good manners so that this faux pas will hopefully be forgotten.
My sister is getting married in May and I am the Maid of Honor. I’ve never planned a shower before but the other brides maid is fighting me on everything. The shower is at the end of March. Our wedding dress colors are black and silver. She thinks we should decorate the wedding shower with black and white carnations with silver balloons. I feel like that is something for a birthday party or new years eve party.. not a spring wedding shower. I decided to go with spring flowers. She tells me I am wrong and we should be doing wedding colors. Is there etiquette for this?
Relatives do not host showers for relatives as it is considered grabbing and in poor taste. Aside from this, a shower is not required to be decorated in the same color scheme as a wedding, though some are. Seems to me a spring shower should rejoice in the season, though; if the wedding is an evening affair, the b/w/silver theme works well, but may seem harsh for a daytime shower. Carnations are not the prettiest flower to begin with and a black one? Hmmm. Rather funereal or Goth, don’t you think?
I thought the carnations were tacky and the black ones especially! Thank you for your reply. It makes me feel better since I haven’t a clue what I am doing. The brides maid fights me tooth and nail on everything and makes me feel bad about doing something nice for my sister. I didn’t know that relatives are not supposed to hold showers for relatives. It always seems to me that holding a shower is one of the duties of the maid of honor. Once again, thank you very much.
It is not a requirement that a maid of honor, nor a bridesmaid for that matter, host a shower for the bride, but good luck with your soiree!
I have also received wedding invitations from two people for the same day. They are both male best friends whom I have known since high school. One weeding is a traditional Catholic mass at noon followed by an afternoon reception. The other is an evening wedding. I have informed my two friends of the conflict and the later groom has insisted that I leave the reception of my other friend to make it to his ceremony. The thing is, I am an informal part of the wedding party as the host for the earlier wedding! How can I politely insist to the second groom, that while I would have liked to attend the wedding (which is 40 minutes away from the other reception) it isn’t plausible? Please help, I don’t want to hurt either friend.
Groomzilla! Who knew? This is however one of the classic etiquette questions, as this happens more often than you might think. Groups of friends often tend to get married within a few years of each other and it is not unusual for these weddings to overlap during the same short wedding season. If you have already made a commitment to be a part of the first wedding and you intend to honor that commitment you should rsvp to the hosts of the second wedding as soon as possible. Simply express your regret in writing that you will not be able to attend. Be sure to wish them well and maybe even consider sending the rsvp with a wedding gift. Having done these two things you will have fulfilled the roles that you are supposed to play as an invited guest. Having done this, if you feel you should, contact your friend personally to explain that you have to honor your earlier commitment. He should be understanding as he would probably want you to pay him the same respect if you had committed to be part of his wedding already and someone else asked you to do something at the same time. This would be a great time to offer to get together and celebrate the new union in a way that works for both of you.