Which Wedding?: When to give a gift
Q: My niece was planning a September wedding, but when her fiance was called to overseas military duty, the couple opted for a small ceremony right before he shipped out. I hear they may stage a larger wedding when he gets back. Should I send the gift now?
A: Take your gift-giving cue from your niece and her parents. If the couple is definitely waiting for the groom’s return for their big celebration, you can hold off on the gift. However, if the larger wedding is a vague “maybe,” go ahead and send the present. Either way is fine. If you decide to wait, send the couple a personal note now, offering your warmest wishes. Plus, suggest a fun get-together with your niece; she’ll probably appreciate the attention while her husband is abroad.
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I’m currently living a funny situation with my cousin and her wedding gift. Regardless of the situation, Is it ok, to send only one present if my husband and I are included in the same invitation with my mother and brother even if we don’t live together?
The four of you may send one gift together. The bride should have sent invitations to the two households as that is proper, but you then would have been obligated to send two gifts. However, if you wish to send your own, that is certainly fine and generous.
I can understand putting your bridal registry information on a wedding shower party invitation. But, what about on a wedding buffet party invitation? That sounds coarse to me. I don’t want to overlook an opportunity to get that information out for the couple. Should we put a loose insert with this information as a courtesy to the couple? Or leave it out entirely? Please advise.
Leave it out. A guest for a wedding buffet party should not receive anything that resembles a solicitation for gifts to this event, as gifts are not given at buffet parties, and the enclosure you mention would be interpreted that way.
The bride and her mother have supplied a guest list for a wedding party. It will be a large dinner gathering. If the hosts would like to add a couple personal friends to the invitation list, is this acceptable? Do they need to know the bride and groom to be included in the party? What are the guidelines here?
If the purpose of this gathering is to fete the wedding couple, then it stands to reason those in attendance should know them. However, if your friends would add to the enthusiasm of the evening, I see nothing wrong with including them, if you mention to the bride you’d like to invite them. Some brides will be gracious and enthusiastic about meeting new people, while others will not. Or, if your friends will be there to help you host, then the bride should be all for it. You’ll just want to be sure that your friends are not going to feel like, or be viewed as, interlopers.