Q: In the middle of a dinner I cooked for our neighbors, the husband asked for some hot sauce, saying “I like spicy food. This is too bland.” I thought that was extremely rude, though I said nothing. Do you agree?
A: Hurt feelings are understandable. It’s one thing to politely ask for salt, pepper, or a handy sauce. But to deliver such a blunt critique is out of line. Kudos to you for hiding your annoyance; a gracious hostess has to rise to many occasions. A guest’s rudeness is one of them, sadly. But at least you have the option of crossing this particular guest off your dinner party list!
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I disagree. The statement may have framed wrongly, however many people like hot spice as part of their regular diet, such as, Indians, Asians, Latin Americans and Americans of the Southwestern US. I believe the host was in error as they should have been aware of the guest’s taste unless the guest was specifically apprised of the nature of the meal served.
Your advice is inappropriate because there is just not enough information form the person asking the question to come to your conclusion.
For example, if the guest were an Indian, the host/hostess should have know that Indian cuisine is hot and spicy. The host/host simply was discourteous and did not do their due diligence before inviting the guest to dinner.
Another example, if I were invited to a host/hostess from Central Mexico for dinner, and they were serving worms in mole sauce for dinner. They would be derelict if they did not apprise me of what is being served. I believe that it would be perfectly appropriate to comment that this is not part of my diet. Same with serving pork to a Jewish person, or bottom fish to an Islamic person, or beef to a Hindu person, meat to a Vegan, etc. I believe that it is not rude to tell the host that you don’t eat this kind of food, or you would like some hot sauce.
It was rude and I bet Fil J. doesn’t get invited to many dinners either. I’m a native New Orleanian and I love spicy food but I also know that hot sauce does not go on everything and if the host does not put out a particular condiment then that condiment is not supposed to be part of the meal. To blurt out, “this is too bland” is insulting to the cook.
I once had to tell with an adult saying “Ewww” or “yuck” just because she didn’t like something I made from scratch. I’m sorry I didn’t get it at a drive through! Some comments aren’t necessary. Someone put a lot of time and effort into your meal. If you don’t like it, I’m not telling you to eat it. Just either learn to deal with it or don’t say anything unless it’s “Thank you.”
I completely disagree with Fil. J on this one. Whilst people from certain areas may be used to spicy food, and may indeed prefer spicy food, this is not the same thing as having a religious prohibition on consumption of certain foods. There is a big difference between serving someone food that is viewed as unclean, and serving food that is not to someone’s taste.
The questioner’s guest was very rude. Not so much for asking for hot sauce, but for stating that it was needed because the food was “bland”. That is a word with negative connotations, and is close in meaning to “tasteless”. The meal was not inedible. The guest should have eaten it and thanked his hostess.