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- French Fries – How Do I Eat Them?There are many foods that present a classic dilemma for diners young and old. The question is, “fork or fingers?” The answer is sometimes definitive – you definitely eat your peas and mashed potatoes with a fork. That’s a no-brainer. But how about french fries? It’s a sometimes fingers/sometimes forks answer: If the food the […]
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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
I always bring a hostess gift when going to someone’s home. We are going out with a large group, to a restaurant for dinner and then back to one of the couple’s home’s for desert. Everyone is bringing desert. Is it necessary to bring a hostess gift, since the hostess is only providing coffee and a place to have it?
Nothing extravagant, but wouldn’t you feel good arriving with a little ‘sumpin’ ‘sumpin’? A package of cocktail napkins or holiday candle with a charming little bow? Your hostess still will have gone to a lot of trouble for your group in providing a clean and comfortable venue. Shouldn’t “small” kindnesses be acknowledged, or just big ones?
I have a question regarding Christmas gifts. What should you do if you receive a mailed Christmas present a week or so before Christmas from family with the request that you wait until Christmas to open it?
My kids want to open their gifts from family immediately and I usually let them because it’s nice to spread out the gifts. Then I just wait until Christmas and thank the giver for the gift…they assume we opened it when we were requested to.
But I wonder- is it tacky to disregard a giver’s instructions about when to open it, or is it tacky to put restrictions or expectations about gifts and opening?
You should honor the giver’s request and open the CHRISTMAS present on CHRISTMAS day and demonstrate honesty to your children when you confirm to the giver their wishes were obeyed. This also teaches children patience and joy in anticipation, not instant gratification.
A friend of mine is going through a divorce. I want to be there for her but feel she is using me. First she never showed up for dinner on Friday and the next day said her phone went dead. Then she asked my husband and me to help move her husbands stuff out of their house and into a storage unit, which we did. She said by 3:00 PM we could leave because another couple, her best friends, would show up to unload everything into storage. Her friends showed up late, well after her husband and my husband had loaded everything into her UHAUL. We left assuming her “good friends” would do their part. The next day she sent my husband a text asking him to meet her at the storage unit to unload everything. We found out that after we left her and her friends decided they would rather hang out than unload everything. She just assumed we would take care of it. My husband got angry and refused to help her. I agree with him and think I should have a talk with her. However, I want to approach the situation with caution since she is going through a tough time. What is your advice?
One wonders where the husband was in seeing to his own belongings start to finish, but nevermind.
Sweet Maddison, flood your friend with best wishes, good thoughts and breezy, upbeat conversation when she contacts you. Use the time you might in future servitude to her instead to find and cultivate new and grateful friends. Wave happily to her from the other side of the street as you hurry to help THEM move!
Periodically, our company leaves a box of See’s chocolates in a public place for all to partake of. The question: Is there any etiquette guideline regarding whether or not to leave the individual wrappers that the chocolates were seated in inside the box after eating the chocolate, or should the wrappers be taken along with the chocolate and disposed of by the taker?
Hmm, I don’t know if there are any hard and fast etiquette rules about taking or leaving the wrappers. My hunch would be to take the wrapper with the candy, but I wouldn’t lose sleep over it. I’d rather enjoy the delicious chocolate.
The wrapper should be discarded in a nearby trash receptacle; should one not be available, it should be slipped in your pocket or purse and disposed of later. It is impolite to return it to the box, as it is unpleasant to wade through someone else’s discards in search of a treat. The receptionist (or another employee) should keep the box tidy, though, in case someone doesn’t know better.
I’d like to know how to ask a question?
I was given a birthday gift 4 months before my birthday. Not only did it not feel like a birthday gift, it felt like it was just something she needed to get done and off her “To Do List” oit was cold and felt very impersonal.
And no, it was not some wonderful special gift that she could just not contain herself and had to give it early.
When is to soon 0r too late to give a Birthday gift to someone ?
While it would be best for someone to wait until closer to the date (whatever date is being commemorated i.e. birthday, anniversary, etc.) to give something, the recipient should be delighted at receiving a gift anytime one arrives. The issue in your situation is not so much timing ot it, but its impersonality and those who read of your situation will hopefully remember to be thoughtful in selecting gifts for others. Part of successful gift-giving is the lead-up and presentation and we should also be mindful of that. And, I don’t think its ever too late to give a gift, but surely hope it ends up being a doozie when it finally does arrive!
Curious,
I have wondered that, too. I would say it is appropriate for each person to take their wrappers with them. Otherwise they can get in the way and ultimately the person who takes the last piece has to throw them all away. See’s candy is the BEST!
My question is this: I am not much of a small-talk person, but I don’t want to come off as rude or snobbish toward people I meet or run into in public (at church, people at work, the receptionist at my dentist, professors whose classes I am not in, etc.). I also don’t want to pry into people’s personal business. Is it appropriate to ask people about their family, what part of town they live in, etc., in this type of situation? I am never sure what to say after “How are you” and “Fine, thank you”.
Thanks for your help!
It is best to avoid personal inquiries, such as family or residence questions until you know someone better, and particularly in a business situation, such as when you visit the dentist’s office. Employees are hesitant to provide private information and this is a good habit. By the same token, professors should not be placed in the position of personal familiarity with students as this may expose them to professional censure.
You may certainly ask generic questions…Are you ready for the holidays? Will you have time off to enjoy them? Can you recommend a book on the Battle of the Bulge, Professor? I understand you attended UCLA; tell me about their program, if you would? Eventually, you’ll get the hang of what is friendly and what is overly familiar; just remember its about human connections and relishing the gift of human interaction.
Thank you so much! I will definitely visit and ask again.
Thank you for the responses; it sounds like we are all on the same page regarding See’s.
Shy but Trying – As far as small talk beyond “How are you”, anything in the public domain is fair game (I think), so if you see the person is wearing a pin, or holding a book, or has an interesting accent you can ask some fairly benign questions of curiosity regarding them without going to the extreme of prying. You never know when you are going to learn something really interesting, or from whom.