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This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.
This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.
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Help! I am sure I read somewhere that you NEVER separate a man’s first and last name (Jane and John Doe), but I also read that the man’s name always goes first (John and Jane). Is this the correct way to write a husband and wife’s name in both cases. Please clarify.
Envelopes should be addressed “Mr. and Mrs. John Doe”, though informal notes may have the salutation “Dear Jane and John”, (though “John and Jane” is more common). It would be incorrect to address the envelope to “Jane and John Doe”.
I like to imagine the male enfolding the woman, his first name first, then hers, followed by his last name.
Of course this doesn’t take into account if she retains her name, but lets not go there right now.
Is it inappropriate to send a combination wedding thank you note and christmas card? We have been getting conflicting advice. It appears the etiquette rule of thumb is to send a thank you note within 3 months of the wedding. I have also heard that all guests at the wedding should receive a christmas card in the year of the wedding. If that last statement is true, and if the wedding is within seven weeks of christmas, why wouldn’t it be appropriate to send a card with a nice honeymoon photo, wish the recipient a Merry Christmas and hand-write a thank you note for the wedding gift?
Thank you notes for wedding gifts should be sent by themselves within three months of receipt of the gift, though every effort should be made to send them much sooner (its a good idea to write them as gifts arrive so as not be overwhelmed with the task or stale about your delight in it). As for Christmas cards for wedding guests, I’ve never heard this, but thinking about it, it’s a charming notion, as it caps off the year and remembers those who were at your most important date in that year. If they were close enough to you to invite to your wedding, they should be close enough to receive Christmas greetings from you. Still, both pieces of mail should be mailed separately.
My husband & I have a group of friends that we hang out with most weekends. The majority of the time they want to go to the same dive bar. At first we liked it but after going there over 20 times this year we have grown very tired of it. We have come up reasons we couldn’t join them the last three weekends but none of them have gotten the hint and continue to insist we join them there next time. We want to spend time with them but the cost of going there so often and the fact we simply no longer enjoy the place make us want to avoid this one specific dive bar. How can we politely suggest a new location or at least let them know we will only occasionally be joining them at this specific dive bar?
While you are fortunate to have a group of friends who adore your company, I can understand your burn-out on the same old, same old. Simply tell them you can’t be there everytime and if pressed for a reason, say, “We’re trying to watch our budget and by the way, have you been to Harry’s yet? Maybe we can give it a try sometime.” There is nothing wrong with asking them to meet you at Harry’s one night, but maybe the first time, suggest a night that doesn’t interfere with their routine; you’re likely to get a more enthusiastic response if you do this. They might just end up liking Harry’s better, and your transition will be made.