Invitation Impasse: When you’ve already said yes
Have a safe and wonderful new year!
Q: I have recently accepted an invitation to a small dinner party hosted by a new friend. The problem is, shortly after I accepted and with two days notice, a college roommate called to say she could come visit me the same weekend. Should I cancel? Can I bring my friend with me?
A: You’ve already accepted the invitation to dinner; it would be impolite to cancel because you’ve now decided to do something else that evening. And you can’t show up at the dinner with an extra person in tow: A surprise like that is never a good idea. Phoning only a couple of days ahead to ask if you can bring your pal isn’t much better, because it puts the host on the spot. Tell your old friend you already have plans that night and offer to find something else she can do while you’re at the dinner party, like a movie.
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oooh. I really disagree with the advice on this one. Old friends from out of town only come by once in a while. I think you need to see them when you can. The new friend is there, in town. I would call the new friend and explain. If she has old friends from out of town she should totally understand.
You make a good point.
I have to say that I agree with the original advice. Yes, it would be nice to get together with an old friend, but you shouldn’t cancel an invitation you’ve already accepted because something better comes along.
That said, I understand why Camille said what she did. Be prepared, though, this new friend may not invite you again.
You have identified well the thinking behind the original advice.