Q: I had a dinner party last week, and several guests brought small gifts. I thanked everyone at the time, but now I’m wondering if one of the presents-a fancy crystal vase-calls for a follow up note. And if I do write to that particular guest, am I expected to write to all of them?
A: Thanking your guests in person (and I’m trusting you opened the gifts discreetly and not in front of those who came empty-handed) is perfectly acceptable, and no more is required of you. That said, written notes, especially when not obligatory, are a gracious way to tell people their presents are appreciated and enjoyed. As you suspected, however, if you send written thanks for one gift, you must send thank-yous for all.
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