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- French Fries – How Do I Eat Them?There are many foods that present a classic dilemma for diners young and old. The question is, “fork or fingers?” The answer is sometimes definitive – you definitely eat your peas and mashed potatoes with a fork. That’s a no-brainer. But how about french fries? It’s a sometimes fingers/sometimes forks answer: If the food the […]
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- French Fries – How Do I Eat Them?
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
i am the mother of the groom and the bride told both me and her mother we can wear any color we want. Is there any protocol as to who buys their dress first. I happened to buy my dress (pale silvery grey)before the brides mother and now she is upset. The bride was called and told about the dress immediately and seemd to be fine about the color but when her mother was told she got upset that I already bought.?
You did nothing wrong. There is no protocol pertaining to which mother buys her dress first, and whoever told you about the bride’s mother’s uhappiness should have kept that information to themselves. Don’t dwell on this, wear the dress, and be gracious to the bride’s mother in complimenting her on her dress. Its a shame that brides’mothers sometimes cannot share the wedding preparations run-up in a gracious way with grooms’ parents.
Hello,
I would like to please ask an unrelated question: I have a problem with a close friend who continually invites his own guests to my parties. A couple of months ago I invited a large number of friends to my house for a chili supper, and he told me a week before the party that he would be bringing two of his friends who lived in the area. I was surprised by his actions, but not too offended, seeing as it is relatively easy to accomodate unexpected guests with a pot of chili.
However, I’m hosting a formal cocktail party in two weeks, which I intended to be more intimate and exclusive (I didn’t invite several of the friends/aquaintances I had invited to the chili supper)and this same friend told my roommate yesterday that he would be bringing three additional uninvited guests.
I’m upset, because I was planning to make several hors d’oeurves with expensive ingredients and now I need to purchase enough for three additional people, when I had only planned on inviting 15. I’m also afraid that he will continue to invite more guests as the event draws nearer! Is it polite to confront this person and tell them that they’re bring rude by constantly bringing uninvited guests to my party?
Thank you, and happy holidays!
It is most definitely time, and your perogative, to sit this friend down and say, with directness, a touch of humor, and a splash of exasperation, “John, I love you to pieces and am so happy you like coming to my parties, and I take it as a great compliment that you think my gatherings are so cool that you want to invite friends of yours to share in them. But, John, this has to stop. Please do not invite anyone to my parties without asking me first. Stop assuming you can just bring anyone to someone else’s party; that is simply not polite. I will look forward to seeing you, and you alone, on the 11th. Now, give me a hug.” He will either meekly apologize or stomp off in a huff; either way your problem is solved.
Your mistake is being cowed into putting up with this so long. If it happens again, it is because you allowed it. And, (with a touch of exasperation here), sweet Emily, don’t you dare go out and buy more expensive ingredients to accommodate the uninvited!
I had a similar situation. I had several ex-co workers give me references for a great job. After I got it, I very much wanted to say thank you and invited them to a happy hour that I planned to pay for. I invited another co-worker friend so she wouldn’t feel left out. She mentioned it was around her birthday, so I allowed her to select the restaurant. One co-worker and she had a very bad romantic breakup so I was sure to ask her if she would be uncomfortable if he came. When I arrived at the restaurant I was shocked to find about 15 more guests than I had invited. Strangers and people I hardly knew. She evidently had announced in a staff meeting at my former place of employment about the party and said it was her birthday party and going away party for one of my former co-worker/friends that I had invited to say thanks for her recommendation. I had met privately with that friend when I took her to lunch to say goodbye, so I felt no need to have a going away party for her from a place I no longer worked.
To add to everything, she invited my former (and her current) boss who had just laid me, and half my section off after ten years of employment. Including a 63 year old man five months before he was vested in retirement. To say he was the last person I wished to sit at a table with is putting it mildly. And she knew this, but had in the past withheld information from me because she knew I would not show up for events.
I could hardly help but show how I felt, but besides asking curtly “What did you invite him for?” before he showed up, I decided not to say anything more and just make sure I did not make anyone uncomfortable. I did express concern when he showed up behaving like a jerk and pushing her to down shots of tequila when she had no designated driver to pick her up, but left it alone when I was ignored. Also, because everyone was scattered, I never did get to sit with my guests and thank them, some of which I may never see again. I did email them after the party to express thanks, but still felt cheated.
I decided to take the high road and not mention how angry I was, and emailed her to see if she had arrived home safely. I received no response until several days later when she sent me a scathing email, saying how “unaccepting” I was not, letting people be people, and basically implying I owed her an apology for being upset. Needless to say, I didn’t agree.
How would the rest of you have felt about this situation? Just curious.