Comments on: Invitation Inquiry: Whose parents go on your wedding invitations? http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2009/11/inviation-inquiry-whos-parents-go-on-your-wedding-invites/ Wed, 08 Feb 2012 15:21:35 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Ashleigh http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2009/11/inviation-inquiry-whos-parents-go-on-your-wedding-invites/#comment-13423 Ashleigh Thu, 19 Jan 2012 16:52:40 +0000 http://www.etiquettedaily.com/?p=1425#comment-13423 A bit OT but excellent name choices!! LOL!! I think "bucksnort" could accurately describe the noise I just made trying not to laugh hysterically in the middle of the office. :) A bit OT but excellent name choices!! LOL!! I think “bucksnort” could accurately describe the noise I just made trying not to laugh hysterically in the middle of the office. :)

]]> By: Winifred Rosenburg http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2009/11/inviation-inquiry-whos-parents-go-on-your-wedding-invites/#comment-13408 Winifred Rosenburg Thu, 19 Jan 2012 03:29:08 +0000 http://www.etiquettedaily.com/?p=1425#comment-13408 You are right that the groom's full name is normally used on invitations so recipients on the groom's side aren't left wondering "John who?" I haven't seen a rule regarding use of the bride's last name, but it would make sense to me to use it if it isn't obvious based on her parents' names. I don't know if I would call their invitation tacky, but it is confusing. You are right that the groom’s full name is normally used on invitations so recipients on the groom’s side aren’t left wondering “John who?” I haven’t seen a rule regarding use of the bride’s last name, but it would make sense to me to use it if it isn’t obvious based on her parents’ names. I don’t know if I would call their invitation tacky, but it is confusing.

]]> By: Elizabeth http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2009/11/inviation-inquiry-whos-parents-go-on-your-wedding-invites/#comment-13406 Elizabeth Thu, 19 Jan 2012 00:46:08 +0000 http://www.etiquettedaily.com/?p=1425#comment-13406 MOG - the invitation you describe is strange, indeed. I can understand your feelings on behalf of your son (and future DIL - if I were her, I'd be peeved, too!). However, what's done is done, and any complaining can only have negative consequences. Either this is something your DIL and son knew about ahead of time and were OK with or, if not, then it is a prompt for them to take a greater hand in the planning of their own wedding. I can't imagine not seeing and proofing my own invitations before they went to print. What does the couple think about all this?? MOG – the invitation you describe is strange, indeed. I can understand your feelings on behalf of your son (and future DIL – if I were her, I’d be peeved, too!). However, what’s done is done, and any complaining can only have negative consequences. Either this is something your DIL and son knew about ahead of time and were OK with or, if not, then it is a prompt for them to take a greater hand in the planning of their own wedding. I can’t imagine not seeing and proofing my own invitations before they went to print. What does the couple think about all this??

]]> By: Country Girl http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2009/11/inviation-inquiry-whos-parents-go-on-your-wedding-invites/#comment-13404 Country Girl Wed, 18 Jan 2012 23:34:37 +0000 http://www.etiquettedaily.com/?p=1425#comment-13404 I definitely understand your frustration! You are correct it is really confusing and strange to leave the Bride and Groom's full names off. Most especially if they have semi-common names. I can't tell you how many "Dave and Ashley"s, or "Joe and Michelle"s I know, and (unless your son Bucksnort is marrying his fiance Lalalina) there is a big chance that guests will have to rack their brains trying to figure out to whose wedding they've been invited. Since the invitations seem to have already been printed and distributed, there is obviously nothing that can be done about them now. And even though invitations and their wording are the choice of the bride and groom, you have a legitimate worry that friends and family members could be terribly confused. I would suggest to your son that he call all of those on his side to confirm that they received HIS wedding invitation. Let the bride-to-be deal with the confusion on her side. If you are contacted by any of these guests "We got an invitation to a Rick and Jill's wedding, is that your son?" I would be sure to pass the message along and let you son know that guests are bewildered. I definitely understand your frustration! You are correct it is really confusing and strange to leave the Bride and Groom’s full names off. Most especially if they have semi-common names. I can’t tell you how many “Dave and Ashley”s, or “Joe and Michelle”s I know, and (unless your son Bucksnort is marrying his fiance Lalalina) there is a big chance that guests will have to rack their brains trying to figure out to whose wedding they’ve been invited.

Since the invitations seem to have already been printed and distributed, there is obviously nothing that can be done about them now. And even though invitations and their wording are the choice of the bride and groom, you have a legitimate worry that friends and family members could be terribly confused. I would suggest to your son that he call all of those on his side to confirm that they received HIS wedding invitation. Let the bride-to-be deal with the confusion on her side. If you are contacted by any of these guests “We got an invitation to a Rick and Jill’s wedding, is that your son?” I would be sure to pass the message along and let you son know that guests are bewildered.

]]> By: Mother of the Groom http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2009/11/inviation-inquiry-whos-parents-go-on-your-wedding-invites/#comment-13400 Mother of the Groom Wed, 18 Jan 2012 20:34:27 +0000 http://www.etiquettedaily.com/?p=1425#comment-13400 I received my son's wedding invitation in the mail and it is worded like this: Mr. and Mrs. Bride's Parents Names request the honor or your presence at the wedding of our daughter Bride's First Name to Groom's First Name Date Time Place Reception to Follow I don't really care that our names were not on the invitation, but the Bride and Groom's names were not spelled out and it leaves the question in my mind of "Groom who?" Am I wrong to think this is tacky? I feel very hurt that his full name was not on the invitation and he said that anyone invited should know who they are....but that's not my point! His wedding invitation doesn't even has his full name AND the Bride's parents have a different last name than she does so to me that is confusing to people who we invited because they don't know what her last name is either. Your opinion please!!! I received my son’s wedding invitation in the mail and it is worded like this:
Mr. and Mrs. Bride’s Parents Names
request the honor or your presence at the wedding of our daughter
Bride’s First Name to Groom’s First Name
Date
Time
Place
Reception to Follow
I don’t really care that our names were not on the invitation, but the Bride and Groom’s names were not spelled out and it leaves the question in my mind of “Groom who?”
Am I wrong to think this is tacky? I feel very hurt that his full name was not on the invitation and he said that anyone invited should know who they are….but that’s not my point! His wedding invitation doesn’t even has his full name AND the Bride’s parents have a different last name than she does so to me that is confusing to people who we invited because they don’t know what her last name is either.
Your opinion please!!!

]]> By: Winifred Rosenburg http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2009/11/inviation-inquiry-whos-parents-go-on-your-wedding-invites/#comment-10875 Winifred Rosenburg Wed, 28 Sep 2011 14:19:15 +0000 http://www.etiquettedaily.com/?p=1425#comment-10875 Who pays and who hosts are separate things. Therefore, all the issues about who paid should have no effect on the invitation wording. Who pays and who hosts are separate things. Therefore, all the issues about who paid should have no effect on the invitation wording.

]]> By: Joan http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2009/11/inviation-inquiry-whos-parents-go-on-your-wedding-invites/#comment-10873 Joan Wed, 28 Sep 2011 09:09:53 +0000 http://www.etiquettedaily.com/?p=1425#comment-10873 I've been married for 4 years now and I feel its right to share a bit of my persona experience with the wedding invitation sutff. I live on a small Island where, traditionally both sets of parents pay for the wedding expenses but I, being a working, independant woman, saved money from my salaries for my wedding while my husband expected his father (his mom doesn't work) to pay for his share of the wedding expenses. Now what happened is that a few years before the wedding (we dated 8 years before getting married), my father in law started having an affair with a girl twenty years younger who ripped him off of his savings, you get the picture. One year before the wedding, my Husband talked to me about postponing it because of this, I refused saying I'm not going to pay for anyone's fault, we put our efforts together, he quickly saved money for one year like I did, we put everything in one account and did all the wedding expenses from that account. Our wedding invitation said: "Justin and Joan together with their parents have the pleasure to invite you..." We paid for our wedding, my FIL nearly caused it to be postponed so I left out all the parents' names on the invitation (to be fair), till today I didn't hear a thing about it. Tradition is ok as long as it does not become ridiculous and outdated. In this modern era I think it is up to the bride and groom to decide. I’ve been married for 4 years now and I feel its right to share a bit of my persona experience with the wedding invitation sutff. I live on a small Island where, traditionally both sets of parents pay for the wedding expenses but I, being a working, independant woman, saved money from my salaries for my wedding while my husband expected his father (his mom doesn’t work) to pay for his share of the wedding expenses.
Now what happened is that a few years before the wedding (we dated 8 years before getting married), my father in law started having an affair with a girl twenty years younger who ripped him off of his savings, you get the picture. One year before the wedding, my Husband talked to me about postponing it because of this, I refused saying I’m not going to pay for anyone’s fault, we put our efforts together, he quickly saved money for one year like I did, we put everything in one account and did all the wedding expenses from that account.
Our wedding invitation said: “Justin and Joan together with their parents have the pleasure to invite you…” We paid for our wedding, my FIL nearly caused it to be postponed so I left out all the parents’ names on the invitation (to be fair), till today I didn’t hear a thing about it. Tradition is ok as long as it does not become ridiculous and outdated. In this modern era I think it is up to the bride and groom to decide.

]]> By: Eileen http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2009/11/inviation-inquiry-whos-parents-go-on-your-wedding-invites/#comment-9615 Eileen Tue, 12 Jul 2011 18:38:18 +0000 http://www.etiquettedaily.com/?p=1425#comment-9615 My parents paid for my brothers ENTIRE wedding. Church, limo, reception, flowers invitations, wedding gown you name it . Not to mention rehearsal dinner and paying for out of town guests. Guess what the BRIDES parents names went on the invitation not the grooms. They were more than happy to let it go and not get hung up on having their name on the invitation. The grooms parents need to get over themselves and realize the wedding is really a celebration for the couple!!!! My parents paid for my brothers ENTIRE wedding. Church, limo, reception, flowers invitations, wedding gown you name it . Not to mention rehearsal dinner and paying for out of town guests. Guess what the BRIDES parents names went on the invitation not the grooms. They were more than happy to let it go and not get hung up on having their name on the invitation. The grooms parents need to get over themselves and realize the wedding is really a celebration for the couple!!!!

]]> By: Judy http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2009/11/inviation-inquiry-whos-parents-go-on-your-wedding-invites/#comment-9613 Judy Tue, 12 Jul 2011 17:13:41 +0000 http://www.etiquettedaily.com/?p=1425#comment-9613 I just needed to put my opinion in. My (the bride's) parents paid for the entire reception. My husband's parents gave us a monetary gift which we put towards some expenses (photo, limo). My parents paid a GREAT deal more than his towards everything - but we listed ALL parents as hosts of the day. My parents did not feel that the invite should be a playbill of who paid for what. And all response cards were addressed to my parents - so that signifies who is "in charge" of the event so to speak. In addition, it is 2011 - women are more than self-sustainable and I was not "given away" but rather two families were joined together. Many of my friends listed the bride's parents as "host" at the top of the invite and listed the groom's parents under his name as "son of". That might be a solution to many of these sticky situations - but in my opinion, this just seems a little caddy and tacky. This appears as if the bride's parent's want top billing - when that is NOT what the day should be about. I just needed to put my opinion in. My (the bride’s) parents paid for the entire reception. My husband’s parents gave us a monetary gift which we put towards some expenses (photo, limo). My parents paid a GREAT deal more than his towards everything – but we listed ALL parents as hosts of the day. My parents did not feel that the invite should be a playbill of who paid for what. And all response cards were addressed to my parents – so that signifies who is “in charge” of the event so to speak. In addition, it is 2011 – women are more than self-sustainable and I was not “given away” but rather two families were joined together. Many of my friends listed the bride’s parents as “host” at the top of the invite and listed the groom’s parents under his name as “son of”. That might be a solution to many of these sticky situations – but in my opinion, this just seems a little caddy and tacky. This appears as if the bride’s parent’s want top billing – when that is NOT what the day should be about.

]]> By: Betsi http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2009/11/inviation-inquiry-whos-parents-go-on-your-wedding-invites/#comment-9471 Betsi Wed, 06 Jul 2011 04:23:44 +0000 http://www.etiquettedaily.com/?p=1425#comment-9471 Thank you for your feedback. Your posts make perfect sense and are much appreciated. Thank you for your feedback. Your posts make perfect sense and are much appreciated.

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