Q: While I was out with friends for dinner, my roll fell onto the floor. I picked it up and placed it on the table. Even though that was the end of it (I didn’t eat the roll), one of my friends gave me immediate grief saying, “You should never pick up anything dropped on a restaurant floor.” Is she right?
A: Almost. When something falls off the table, such as food or a utensil, it’s better to leave it there and mention the mishap to your server. Fumbling around the floor is not in keeping with a fine-and sanitary-dining experience. A caveat: If the dropped item creates a safety hazard, it should be removed so no one trips on it or is injured by it.
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My step children accept more than one invitation to Thanksgiving dinner. Then they arrive too early and their children are unruly and distracting making it hard for me to concentrate on the cooking that I’m still doing, or they come late rushing from one meal to the next and then rush off to go to the next meal. I feel taken advantage of, but my husband thinks it’s ok since it’s about family. When is it about family when we’re irritated and not able to enjoy them or we’re waiting while the food gets cold? How do I resolve this?
I can understand your feelings. Perhaps you can sit down with your husband and ask if a different approach could be tried for the next holiday, i.e. alternating holidays with other sides of the family, but this usually ends up in not having everyone at your house the same year. Or, rather than trying to compete for “THE” day, i.e. Thanksgiving Thursday, invite them the prior Sunday. Flexibility is the key, and Dad really should talk to the kids about being more sensitive to the hard work you expend on their behalf. However, I would caution you to be careful in what you say and who you say it to, as you, as the stepmother, won’t win. Really, your husband needs to step up and assist you in coming to a solution you all can live with.
My sister in law, the family cook and matriarch, has this unsanitary habit of licking her fingers and then without washing her hands proceeds to handle other food. Or, she’ll taste something with her fork and may then dip it into another dish. Disgusting! My husband and I hosted Thanksgiving dinner for 30 and while setting up the buffet, I lightheartely said, “We’re going to have to be extra careful this year to guard against the H1N1 virus, so no touching food or tasting with the same fork.” She resisted at first; I became a broken record and also jokingly threatened to kick her out of the kitchen. Fortunately, her favorite granddaughter shared my concern and prevailed upon her to cease her nasty habit. Of course, I had already resolved not to eat any of the food she brought over.