Q: Our son’s fiance is planning a large reception for their wedding. It’s her first marriage and his second. We paid for his rehearsal dinner the first time around. Are we expected to do so again?
A: Absolutely not. You’ve already done your duty by treating him to his first dinner and are under no monetary obligation for the second one. However, if you want to and are financially able to do so, you can offer to pick up some or all of the tab. Otherwise, you’re only responsible for offering the couple your emotional support. Of course, a gift would also be nice.
Loading ...
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Rehearsal Dinner Guests
My husband and I will be hosting our son’s after rehearsal dinner. The wedding is small, which we love, but my husband wants to include some of those people we could not invite to the wedding at the after rehearsal dinner. I adamently disagree with this but he adamently thinks it’s fine. I would like a reasonable answer to this dilemma. Thank you.
According to the Emily Post Institute:
Who is invited? The guest list at a rehearsal dinner should include the members of the wedding party and their spouses, fiancé(e)s, or live-in partners; the officiant and his or her spouse or partner; the parents, stepparents, and grandparents of the bride and groom; and any siblings of the bride and groom who are not in the wedding party. If single members of the wedding party were invited to bring a date to the wedding, then it’s kind to include the date at the rehearsal dinner. Any children of the bride and groom from a previous marriage are invited, unless they are too young. Parents of young attendants, such as a flower girl or ring bearer, are also included.
I would strongly advise against invited anyone who is not invited to the wedding to the rehearsal dinner.
Rehersal dinners are a smaller event then the wedding only wedding guests are invited and usually only a select group of wedding guests. It is also a pre-wedding party. Only those invited to the wedding are invited to pre-wedding parties.
It would be offensive to invite someone to a rehersal dinner and not to the main event. If you husband would like to host some folks to celebrate the wedding of your son a good option would be a party in welcoming your daughter in law to your social circle hosted by the two of you after the couple returns from their honeymoon trip.
I agree with Laura. It is not appropriate to invite those not invited to the wedding to the rehersal dinner or frankly any pre-wedding celebrations. Please work with your husband to find another way, (perhaps a nice brunch) to share your celebration with these additional folks AFTER the wedding.