Comments on: Open thread http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2009/10/open-thread-124/ Tue, 07 Feb 2012 06:41:38 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Graceandhonor http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2009/10/open-thread-124/#comment-1088 Graceandhonor Tue, 20 Oct 2009 00:24:18 +0000 http://www.etiquettedaily.com/?p=1058#comment-1088 You are very blessed to have loving in-laws who take such pleasure in buying gifts for your husband and you. If I understand your post, your sis-in-law went thru the gifts with your husband, not you. They were still a surprise to you. I suggest an attitude adjustment on your part to be more loving, flexible and kind, and perhaps things will be less strained with your in-laws. You are very blessed to have loving in-laws who take such pleasure in buying gifts for your husband and you. If I understand your post, your sis-in-law went thru the gifts with your husband, not you. They were still a surprise to you. I suggest an attitude adjustment on your part to be more loving, flexible and kind, and perhaps things will be less strained with your in-laws.

]]> By: Graceandhonor http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2009/10/open-thread-124/#comment-1093 Graceandhonor Mon, 19 Oct 2009 22:10:14 +0000 http://www.etiquettedaily.com/?p=1058#comment-1093 "Service Etiquette" by Oretha D. Swartz has been in print for sometime, but might be a good place to start. You should be able to find it online. Your fiance should be able to find out who to talk to on his base for info, too. You can also Google "military etiquette." Just be sure you are looking at a US website. Good luck in your life and career. “Service Etiquette” by Oretha D. Swartz has been in print for sometime, but might be a good place to start. You should be able to find it online. Your fiance should be able to find out who to talk to on his base for info, too. You can also Google “military etiquette.” Just be sure you are looking at a US website. Good luck in your life and career.

]]> By: Graceandhonor http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2009/10/open-thread-124/#comment-1092 Graceandhonor Mon, 19 Oct 2009 21:57:42 +0000 http://www.etiquettedaily.com/?p=1058#comment-1092 You are a woman of exemplary character and it speaks well of you that you want to use your friend's invitations. While you should pick your battles with your mother in your wedding plans, this is one that is worth standing firm on. Do not allow your mother to send out alternative invitations. Perhaps you can still find lined envelopes to mollify her, but barring that, her quality level requirements can be met on other wedding details. You are a woman of exemplary character and it speaks well of you that you want to use your friend’s invitations. While you should pick your battles with your mother in your wedding plans, this is one that is worth standing firm on. Do not allow your mother to send out alternative invitations. Perhaps you can still find lined envelopes to mollify her, but barring that, her quality level requirements can be met on other wedding details.

]]> By: Graceandhonor http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2009/10/open-thread-124/#comment-1091 Graceandhonor Mon, 19 Oct 2009 21:43:01 +0000 http://www.etiquettedaily.com/?p=1058#comment-1091 Go immediately to the gym management and ask that they inform this woman of gym hygiene requirements. If nothing else, a directly worded note slipped into her locker should be the first approach. Should one not do the trick, keep writing them until she hopefully gets the message. Failing that, someone will surely lose patience and blurt out what she needs to hear. Working out is hard enough as it is, without this kind of thoughtless imposition. Go immediately to the gym management and ask that they inform this woman of gym hygiene requirements. If nothing else, a directly worded note slipped into her locker should be the first approach. Should one not do the trick, keep writing them until she hopefully gets the message. Failing that, someone will surely lose patience and blurt out what she needs to hear.

Working out is hard enough as it is, without this kind of thoughtless imposition.

]]> By: Graceandhonor http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2009/10/open-thread-124/#comment-1090 Graceandhonor Mon, 19 Oct 2009 21:38:09 +0000 http://www.etiquettedaily.com/?p=1058#comment-1090 Aside from the fact it is most inappropriate for a relative, particularly mothers and aunts, to host a shower, it is mean-spirited and inexcusable to not include your mother-in-law and sister-in-law and you should not stand for it. This would be most hurtful to your husband's family and reflect very badly on you. The guest of honor should always have input on the guest list. This factioning you write of makes me wonder if a modern-day Solomon is going to be needed to divide up the baby. Aside from the fact it is most inappropriate for a relative, particularly mothers and aunts, to host a shower, it is mean-spirited and inexcusable to not include your mother-in-law and sister-in-law and you should not stand for it. This would be most hurtful to your husband’s family and reflect very badly on you. The guest of honor should always have input on the guest list. This factioning you write of makes me wonder if a modern-day Solomon is going to be needed to divide up the baby.

]]> By: Graceandhonor http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2009/10/open-thread-124/#comment-1089 Graceandhonor Mon, 19 Oct 2009 21:28:29 +0000 http://www.etiquettedaily.com/?p=1058#comment-1089 The best thing you can do for this person who has provided good service to you is to give him a substantial monetary gift or gratuity along with a glowing letter of recommendation. Trust me, this will make more of a lasting impression than any other thing could possibly make, and keeps your relationship on a professional/client basis. The best thing you can do for this person who has provided good service to you is to give him a substantial monetary gift or gratuity along with a glowing letter of recommendation. Trust me, this will make more of a lasting impression than any other thing could possibly make, and keeps your relationship on a professional/client basis.

]]> By: Christine http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2009/10/open-thread-124/#comment-1087 Christine Mon, 19 Oct 2009 04:00:57 +0000 http://www.etiquettedaily.com/?p=1058#comment-1087 I am getting married in a few months, and a good friend offered to make my wedding invitations. I think the invitations are beautiful and overall give the impression of a fairly formal event. I love them. My mother however, thinks that having hand made invitations is tacky. She believes that the facts that the invitation only comes in one envelope (not an envelope inside a larger envelope) and that the writing is not in raised ink but instead from a standard printer are both inexcusable etiquette faux pas. I have found larger outside envelopes, but now my mother is upset that they are not lined. My mother wants to send out invitations that she is having made to her friends and our family so that she does not have to use the invitations my friend made. My parents are paying for a good portion of the wedding and want to work with my mom on this, but I love the invitations the way they are and think they are a beautiful gift from a friend. Have I made a mistake in having my friend make my invitations? Should I just let my mother use her own invitations? I am getting married in a few months, and a good friend offered to make my wedding invitations. I think the invitations are beautiful and overall give the impression of a fairly formal event. I love them. My mother however, thinks that having hand made invitations is tacky. She believes that the facts that the invitation only comes in one envelope (not an envelope inside a larger envelope) and that the writing is not in raised ink but instead from a standard printer are both inexcusable etiquette faux pas. I have found larger outside envelopes, but now my mother is upset that they are not lined.

My mother wants to send out invitations that she is having made to her friends and our family so that she does not have to use the invitations my friend made.

My parents are paying for a good portion of the wedding and want to work with my mom on this, but I love the invitations the way they are and think they are a beautiful gift from a friend.

Have I made a mistake in having my friend make my invitations? Should I just let my mother use her own invitations?

]]> By: fsm http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2009/10/open-thread-124/#comment-1086 fsm Mon, 19 Oct 2009 02:37:18 +0000 http://www.etiquettedaily.com/?p=1058#comment-1086 I have a question in regard to a very sensitive subject: personal hygiene. Like many, I go to the gym every day and I spend about 45 minutes on a treadmill in a room with many machines (treadmills, bikes, and elliptical machines). The last four times I have gone, the same woman, wearing the same hot pink tank and black shorts, has come into this room and come to the machine beside me or close to me. Her body odor is almost indescribable and is so overpowering that it boarders on making me physically ill. The first time she chose the machine next to me, I toughed it out, thinking it rude to blatantly move away but the next few times, I could not handle it and moved to the opposite end of the room. The problem is that she moves about; she does 10 minutes on one machine and then moves to another and she ALWAYS ends up next to me. I do not know what to do. I am considering changing gyms. In addition, I have noticed others move away from her or change machines. I know nothing about this woman or her life or situation but I do know if she wanted to, she could bathe at the gym (since she has a membership) and could wash her clothes that she repeatedly wears, in the showers and hang them to dry over night. Is this my place to even broach the subject with her? Is filling out a gym comment card going to have any effect at all? I am beginning to dread something I once looked forward to-working out. Any advice much appreciated. Thank you. I have a question in regard to a very sensitive subject: personal hygiene. Like many, I go to the gym every day and I spend about 45 minutes on a treadmill in a room with many machines (treadmills, bikes, and elliptical machines). The last four times I have gone, the same woman, wearing the same hot pink tank and black shorts, has come into this room and come to the machine beside me or close to me. Her body odor is almost indescribable and is so overpowering that it boarders on making me physically ill. The first time she chose the machine next to me, I toughed it out, thinking it rude to blatantly move away but the next few times, I could not handle it and moved to the opposite end of the room. The problem is that she moves about; she does 10 minutes on one machine and then moves to another and she ALWAYS ends up next to me. I do not know what to do. I am considering changing gyms. In addition, I have noticed others move away from her or change machines. I know nothing about this woman or her life or situation but I do know if she wanted to, she could bathe at the gym (since she has a membership) and could wash her clothes that she repeatedly wears, in the showers and hang them to dry over night. Is this my place to even broach the subject with her? Is filling out a gym comment card going to have any effect at all? I am beginning to dread something I once looked forward to-working out. Any advice much appreciated. Thank you.

]]> By: Tarah http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2009/10/open-thread-124/#comment-1085 Tarah Sun, 18 Oct 2009 19:34:12 +0000 http://www.etiquettedaily.com/?p=1058#comment-1085 I will soon be marrying an officer in the military, and would like to be as prepared as possible. I have had trouble finding information of military etiquette I should know, how to plan a military wedding, ect. Are you aware of any books that have been written on this topic? I have looked all over the Emily Post website, but there does not seem to be a lot of information about the military. I have read all the other Emily Post books and love your advice! Thanks! I will soon be marrying an officer in the military, and would like to be as prepared as possible. I have had trouble finding information of military etiquette I should know, how to plan a military wedding, ect. Are you aware of any books that have been written on this topic? I have looked all over the Emily Post website, but there does not seem to be a lot of information about the military. I have read all the other Emily Post books and love your advice! Thanks!

]]> By: Sarah http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2009/10/open-thread-124/#comment-1084 Sarah Sat, 17 Oct 2009 11:15:28 +0000 http://www.etiquettedaily.com/?p=1058#comment-1084 My aunts are planning to host a baby shower for me; however, have indicated to my mother that they will not be inviting my mother-in-law or sister-in-law, preferring to keep the guest list strictly to "our" family. The guest list was not discussed with me and I fear that my in-laws will be hurt by being excluded. My mother-in-law is also planning a shower for me, as is my own mother. Unfortunately, my mother and mother-in-law were unable to plan their showers together, due to financial differences. I am wondering if it is it okay to request that my aunts invite my in-laws, or if each family host their own shower and keep it separate? My aunts are planning to host a baby shower for me; however, have indicated to my mother that they will not be inviting my mother-in-law or sister-in-law, preferring to keep the guest list strictly to “our” family. The guest list was not discussed with me and I fear that my in-laws will be hurt by being excluded.

My mother-in-law is also planning a shower for me, as is my own mother. Unfortunately, my mother and mother-in-law were unable to plan their showers together, due to financial differences. I am wondering if it is it okay to request that my aunts invite my in-laws, or if each family host their own shower and keep it separate?

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