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My husband and I disagree. My feeling is, when workers come to your home, it is “bad manners” to leave money, financial papers, jewelry or like items in plain view.
I recall my grandmother once saying something to the effect,”It’s gauche to leave (items such as the above) out in the open.”
I’ve not yet found a book that addresses this.
Not only is it unseemly to leave this type of item in view of those who are not immediate family members, it is most unwise as these items could go missing or proprietary information fall into the wrong hands.
Recent times of conspicuous consumption celebrated flaunting wealth, but those who are truly wealthy understand and relish discretion.
Is it polite to correct someone when they are mispronouncing a word?
I have friends from whom I’d have no problem correction receiving correction, and would indeed appreciate their help. On the other hand, I have one friend who was an English major and sometimes she does not give people the chance to self-correct, thus appearing overbearing.
I would never dream of correcting a new acquaintance at a cocktail party, for instance. The exception to this would be if that person tries a couple of different pronunciations, while looking at me for affirmation. The same applies for business situations.
So, note the subtleties of your relationship with the erring party and offer correction on a case by case basis.
I was recently invited to a woman’s baby shower for her third child. I do not consider this woman a friend; she is barely an aquaintance. I attended the first shower and gave her a gift, but never received a thank you note. I declined the invitation for her second child (no gift sent), and now have received a third invitation within 5 years. I am a little perplexed as to what to do. I do not intend to go to the shower, but when she asks me why, what should I say? And would it be rude again to not give a gift (cost of gift is not an issue)? This couple is well off and has no need for additional baby items.
This doesn’t appear to be an issue of a third baby shower so much as the fact “she is barely an acquaintance” and that your first shower gift was never acknowledged. Were I in your shoes, I’d send my regrets and best wishes; should she ask why you aren’t coming, simply reply, “I have another commitment.”
There are certain circles in which a second, and most certainly a third shower would be deemed excessive, but I think every baby should receive something new and of their own. But, most of all, the baby’s parents should gift him with the example of thankfulness and manners.
What is the etiquette timeliness for sending a congratulations card to an out-of-state niece for graduating from college? She graduated August 9 and (as of September 5) some family members are outraged that others did not send anything in a timely manner. Please help de-ruffle the family feathers!
Thank you.
Ideally, events should be recognized within a couple of weeks either way of it, but there are always exceptions. A loving family will assume that a member who does not fulfill a social obligaton must surely be in some type of duress and rather than be enraged, should defer any judgement until the situation fully unfolds, as she knows that our loved ones usually come through in the end. Rage has no place in celebrating a graduation, or in a family.
There seem to be two schools of thought about important birthdays (those that celebrate a “round year” such as 50, 60, or 70). Who organizes and hosts the party? The birthday person or one or more family members? I come from a culture where the family would host the party, but the rest of my family believes that I should host the party. I’ve missed several big birthdays because of this difference of opinion, and now I need some advice about how to proceed.
It is sad that those you mother and are married to do not feel the deep need to demonstrate profound love for you and honor you on major birthdays; you should be treated like a queen and shouldn’t have to beg for it or even drop a hint. One generally does not organize one’s own birthday parties, so they are much mistaken. Were you less than you are, we would understand if you went on strike.