Q: Our daughter was married four months ago. A close business associate of my husband’s came to the wedding but never sent a gift. Should we ask him if he bought her anything in case it got lost?
A: You’re better off not asking, because it would be embarrassing for all if no present has been sent. To find out more discreetly, ask your daughter to write him, thanking him for coming to the wedding. The note, minus mention of a gift, might prompt him to ask whether his present had arrived-or remind him to buy a present ASAP.
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Considering that wedding gifts should NEVER be expected, you should save face an let it go. Weddings shouldn’t be about a grab of material goods anyway.
A friend recently approached me and let me know that we did not cash the check that she given for our wedding four months ago. After looking at our lists we realized that there are several other guests who we did not get a gift from. I know that my friends card was lost and now we are questioning whether or not to contact the other guests whom we did not recieve a gift from. If they did not give a gift, I do not want to put them on the spot but, if there card was lost with my friends, I do not want to look ungreatful. What should I do?
This is one of the classic tricky etiquette situations for exactly the reasons that you state. This is the answer we gave on the front page Sept. 23.
Guest Without A Gift: How to discreetly check on a wedding present
2009 September 23
Q: Our daughter was married four months ago. A close business associate of my husband’s came to the wedding but never sent a gift. Should we ask him if he bought her anything in case it got lost?
A: You’re better off not asking, because it would be embarrassing for all if no present has been sent. To find out more discreetly, ask your daughter to write him, thanking him for coming to the wedding. The note, minus mention of a gift, might prompt him to ask whether his present had arrived-or remind him to buy a present ASAP.
I would add that if you think there is more than a chance that you have misplaced a gift when you ask about it be sure apologize for the mistake and make it clear that you are doing your best to rectify it. Weddings can be large logistical affairs and people are likely to be understanding.
Because the square invitations require extra postage, what if the accurate postage needed is more than 61 cents. Is it ok to add another stamp, a different one, beside the wedding theme stamp?
You definitely want to use enough postage as the most important thing here is that the invitations arrive. Your options then include using more than one wedding theme stamp or using a wedding stamp and adding supplemental postage in amounts smaller than .44$. I would consider the cost of using two stamps per envelope and proceed in this fashion is it is affordable. If this is not possible I would use the other option.
Because the square invitations require extra postage, what if the accurate postage needed is more than 61 cents. Is it ok to add another stamp, a different one, beside the wedding theme stamp?