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I’m a Matron of Honor and as such I will be hosting a bridal shower. Many of the wedding guests are from out of state and will be attending the wedding. My questions is, should I send shower invitations to the out of state quests or will it look like I am just fishing for gifts for the bride?
Marcia,
Though you are graciously hosting a shower for your friend, it is up to her to compose the guest list, after you and she come to a clear understanding about the scope of the shower, i.e. how many guests you can host, both in terms of budget and how many persons your home or venue can comfortably accomodate. I have been to showers recently that had so many people in attendance there were not enough seats or refreshments, and gave the distinct impression the affair was all about the “haul.” (Better more than one shower as opposed to one large one.) That being said, a thoughtful bride will send invitations to special people who might not be able to attend, but have let be known, if they could, they would, for instance, an elderly grandmother or favorite aunt, both of whom may derive pleasure at the gesture of being included and helping to outfit a loved one’s home. Many showers today have taken on the aura of a commercial transaction, and while receiving so many lovely new things is wonderful for the bride, the cultivated hostess will place emphasis on the female rite of a welcoming another into the sisterhood of married women.