Q: My fiance expects to be involved all aspects of our wedding, but my mother doesn’t think it’s proper. What do you say?
A: Tell your mother your fiance is right in line with the growing trend of today’s grooms being actively involved in their weddings. Many men are having their say in everything from choosing items for the gift registry to selecting music readings for the ceremony; some even attend wedding fashion shows and are honored at “couples showers.” There are several reasons why: Grooms these days are apt to be older and better established and so may be paying some or most of the expenses. Divorce can be a factor too: A man marrying for a second or third time tends to know what he wants; also, if his children are participating (often the case), then he’s more interested in what’s going on. What I’m hearing from women is that they love having their fiances involved. Certainly, there are more than enough duties to share-including writing all those thank you notes!






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Your intended would be wise to diligently cultivate a loving and respectful and fun relationship with your mother beginning now, as this will bode well for your marital happiness, and also encourage your mother to willingly include him now in the wedding preparations. This may seem silly, but is instead saavy about your mother’s psychological needs during a time of anxiety and transition for her. And, the same applies for you and his mother, too.
“My fiance expects to be involved all aspects of our wedding, but my mother doesn’t think it’s proper.”
My word!
Two people are getting married to each other – what on earth does ones mother have to do with anything?
She can either agree to ‘help’ with the expenses or excuse herself entirely if she refuses to accept the very logical concept that her future son-in-law has something to say about, what will hopefully be, the most important day in HIS life!
What kind of mother-in-law would discount her future-son-in-law’s wishes?
A sad story indeed!