In accepting their kind offer, you might say, “It is lovely you of you to suggest this and we accept on one condition: please allow me to pay for the party costs.”

And be sure to remember this kindness when your daughter’s friend’s birthday rolls around.

First of all, Congratulation on your engagement! I am sure you are quite excited (and busy). As for your ettiquette question, I again praise you on trying to do the right thing. It would not be rude to have an engagement registry (in fact most engagement parties I have been to do). I think your safest option would be to tell you maid of honor and who ever is throwing the party about the registry and use them as a channel to spread the message. That way if a guest calls them, they can direct the guest to the registry politely. If someone calls you, you can assure them that whatever they give will be appriciated and politely tell them about the registry. This way you can have a registry but not be overbearing. When the party is done, make sure you write thank you notes and personally thank all of the guests.

I hope this helps and congratulations!

My 9-year-old daughter’s friends asked their parents if they could give my daughter a surprise birthday party. A mom told me their plans and offered to host it at her house. I don’t want the expense of the party to fall on these other parents. How do I tactfully approach the matter of paying for the party food and supplies?