Q: How do you address a letter to someone who has retired from being a captain in the army? I want to show respect for the rank she attained but don’t know if it’s appropriate to acknowledge it after her retirement.
A: You should continue using her title whenever you address a letter to her. Members of the regular armed services retain their titles, as do reserve officers who officially retire after a number of years.

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Is it appropriate to wear a black dress to a casual evening wedding even though the bridesmaids are also wearing black?
Yes, it is appropriate. Even though in the past wearing black was a wedding taboo as it was seen as a sign of mourning, these days it’s fine. As far as bridesmaids wearing black, I wouldn’t worry too much, as long as you don’t look like you should be in the bridal party. To do this and to prevent your outfit from looking too somber, I would recommend perking up the ensemble with some jewelry or a scarf.