1. Kathleen Mowrey

    I have been invited to my coworker’s daughter’s wedding. I am not close with her daughter or my coworker and will be out of town the week of the wedding (which my coworker knew about).

    Is it inappropriate to send a card with no gift or am I expected to send a gift?

    • Daniel Post Senning

      Although it may not be the answer you were hoping for, the expectation created by a wedding invitation in many peoples’ minds is that you always respond with a gift. In many ways it is an honor to be invited. The gift does not have to be expensive or take a great deal of time and planning but the gesture is part of the tradition of weddings. A gift of soaps, specialty foods, or fancy candles would more than meet expectations.

      If you have no understanding of why you were invited than you might choose not to respond with a gift but it sounds like you may have been included along with other coworkers and that seems a plausible explanation and connection to the wedding.

    • Graceandhonor

      You may sign the card as they know you, Martin Randell or Martin W. Randell. The card should be addressed to the baby and the package shipped to Mr. and Mrs.

  2. Elsie

    I was not invited to an acquaintance (my best friend’s sister-in-law)’swedding, but would like to give a gift to show my excitement for the couple on their day. Is giving a small item ($50 or so) from their registry appropriate, or is it best just to send a card?

    • Alicia

      Gifts to show your joy and happiness for a new couple is always appropriate. The size of teh gift of course being related to your own budjet and the closeness of teh relationship. If you are worried that they will feel pressured to invite you to the wedding send the gift within a few weeks before or immediately after the wedding. So give a gift if you wish or send a card if you wish either is perfectly correct.

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