5 Comments

  1. Kathy

    Hello,
    My 30yr. old nephew is stationed in the Navy in Florida and is getting married in July. We live in Mississippi and are planning to attend the wedding in Florida. The bride’s mother asked my sister (the groom’s mother) if we (the groom’s aunts) would be giving the bride a party or a brunch the day after the wedding. The bride is from Florida. Are we expected to give the bride a party? We have only met her twice. Please let me know what is the appropriate thing to do.
    Thank you,
    Kathy

    • Daniel Post Senning

      I apologize this answer took so long. I wanted to check with one of our in house wedding experts (Anna Post) to be sure there is not a regional tradition that I have not heard of. Anna tells me there is no traditional expectation that you host a post-wedding party for the bride. This is a kind invitation in that it provides an opportunity for you to help with the wedding if you wish to do so, but it is not an expected role for the aunt(s) of the bride. You should feel free to accept or reject this offer. Of course you will want to be clear and diplomatic in your reply. Best of luck with the wedding.

  2. MacKenzie

    Hi there,

    I have twin cousins who are graduating from high school this year. She is graduating for sure, but it is still up in the air whether he will graduate. I and many other family members have received a graduation announcement from her, but we haven’t received anything from her brother. We are unsure what to do when it comes to sending a Congratulations card and gift. If this makes any difference, their parents are divorced, and she lives with the mom while he lives with the dad. We want to congratulate her for this achievement, but we also don’t want her brother to feel left out. However, this is about graduating from high school. What to do?

    Thank you,
    MacKenzie

    • Sean-Thomas Flynn

      I am not sure about how to tactfully finding out about the young man’s “graduation situation” – I hate to admit it, but as a young man sending out graduation anouncements was not on my list and if I were only living with my father, I would never have done it as he didn’t do it either (thank goodness for my mother). But I do believe that each child should be treated as individuals, even if they lived at the same address. As twins, and especially twins of different genders, they will most likely want to be treated as themselves and not as a “they” (clinically, very few twins go through life matching and do everthing that the other twin does, especially in this day and age). Although they are twins, they are both individuals. Treat them as if these two people were born into different sides of the family even though they are related.

    • Daniel Post Senning

      You are kind to be thinking about your cousins. I am getting used to saying this but Sean-Thomas is on the right rack here. It is best to treat the twins as two separate people. You should feel good about supporting your cousin and congratulating her on her achievement regardless of how the situation with her brother is resolved. This does not reflect on him in any way.
      Sean-Thomas is also correct that there may be some difference in how the twins announce their graduations resulting from the difference in their living situation. In the interest of maintaining parity between the siblings you might inquire if your other cousin will be graduating this year and proceed accordingly.

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