Open Thread

Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

Missed on the Guestlist : Inviting people from the workplace

Q. I am getting married and want to know if it is okay to invite some of my colleagues but not others? I am a school counselor and work in a school with over 100 employees. As you can see, if only half came and brought a spouse/guest, I would have 100 guests from work. The chosen venues is limited to 250 people and my fiance and I have large families. It is not my intention to exclude anyone but inviting everyone is nearly impossible.

A. The best way to compile your list of work friends is to begin with only those where your friendship extends outside of school. This may just be a handful, or even only one or two, but that is fine and no one’s feelings would be hurt not to be included. If there are a few others who you consider close friends even though you don’t socialize outside of the school environment, you might add them if you have space. You have no obligation to invite your entire group of work colleagues, even if they have a celebration or shower for you in school. This is their way of celebrating your marriage with no expectation of also being invited to your wedding. Best wishes!

Open Thread

Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

The Policy on Parties : How to politely narrow down a bridal party

Q. When you a bridal party of 8 and have a list of 12 to 14, what is the best
way to narrow down with out hurting some one??

A. If the bride and groom have not yet chosen their attendants, the best way to decide is to think about to whom they are closest, as opposed to who they feel obligated to ask.

For the bride and groom: It is perfectly fine to be direct in explaining to relatives or friends why you have chosen others to be in your wedding party if faced with a confrontation or sticky situation. Choosing siblings or even parents over friends needs no explanation; a choice among friends might. You may have known the person you chose longer, for example; say so. Be forthcoming, but convey anything you say in a kind and loving manner. Explain your desire for a smaller wedding party. Or, you can even flip a coin with friends and family in attendance to give everyone a fair shot!

Open Thread

Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.