Q: For Mother’s Day, my siblings and I usually give a group gift. This year, we want to get Mom a dishwasher, but our older brother thinks that’s too expensive How can we get him to chip in?
A: Choose a mediator (perhaps the sibling he’s closest too) who can get a feel for what’s going on. Is your brother a tightwad, or is he just strapped for cash? If he’s broke, not cheap, maybe he could be allowed to contribute less than the rest of you do this year. Or, you could ask him to suggest less expensive gifts that she might like just as much. If there’s no good compromise, however, tell your brother you’re proceeding with the dishwasher plan. Deliver the present to your mother when your brother isn’t there, and give her a card signed by those who did contribute.
Welcome to Etiquette Daily
This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.
Q: How should I handle nosy questions such as, “How much money do you make?” or “What did you pay for your house?”
A: Some people, even ones you barely know, have no qualms about asking personal questions about money. Instead of responding with, “None of your business,” deflect the question with humor. When asked, “How much do you make?” respond with, “My boss thinks he’s paying plenty.” Or if asked, “How much did you pay for that car?” say, “We broke the bank, that’s for sure.” If you prefer a direct approach, say, “I’d rather not talk about that.” Or “Why do you ask?” That should at least give the person pause.
Welcome to Etiquette Daily
This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.
Q: How do I invite others to a restaurant but let them know that they will have to pay for their own meals?
A: You can’t be the host and ask your guests to pay. Decide whether you want to host an event or just organize a gathering of friends, with everyone paying his share. Communicate your intent carefully — “John, would you and Ellen like to meet us at Miramar’s on Saturday night? We’re asking Frank and Jill to come, too. We thought it would be fun for the six of us to enjoy a night out together. Just let me know if you can make it, and I’ll make the reservation.” By posing it this way, you are the social coordinator rather than the host. As host, you would send a written invitation or say, “We’re hosting a dinner for Susan at Jackson’s Grill. Can you join us as our guest?”
Welcome to Etiquette Daily
This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.
Q: When I’m near a person who is speaking loudly on a cell phone, what’s the best way to ask him to be quiet?
A: It’s hard to enjoy a meal, a train ride or any other activity in public when your ears are held hostage by a cell phone blabbermouth. Sometimes, a pointed look at the talker will get your message across. Speaking directly to the offender usually is not a good idea — it could lead to an unpleasant confrontation. Your best bet is to seek help from an authority — a restaurant manager, for example. He/she may ask the caller to move to the lobby or restroom area. If the cell phone user is on a train, speak to the conductor.
Welcome to Etiquette Daily
This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.
Loading ...
